Raising a C100 application during financial settlement negotiations

[Starbuck80]

My ex and I and are 10 months into divorce financial settlement negotiations and mediation has failed and we’re now onto solicitors. My ex is refusing to provide a wealth of financial documentation to my solicitor and my solicitor has said that they’d be surprised if we’ll be able to settle outside court.

We’ve got two young children and back in mediation I suggested 70/30 childcare arrangements during term time (our youngest is only two) and 50/50 during holidays. I have been their main carer and am just trying to maintain the kids stability and consistency. He got really angry with this suggestion so the mediator suggested a trial of 60/40 during school and 50/50 holidays. We’ve been doing that since June and the reality is more like 70/30 and 60/40. He keeps changing his days that he has them and travels for up to a week at a time every month. We’re also still having to live together and he is still constantly relying on me to drop everything to cover him ( which I do). With the way he’s acting now, I just know that when we eventually do sort the finances out, it will all start up again about the children as he’s not thinking about what’s best for them in terms of stability but what is ‘fair’ to him.

Has anyone done the childcare arrangement order at the same time as the Form E financial stuff?

Thanks!

Document, document, document. Try to communicate in writing with him so you have evidence that he is not sticking to the agreement. Gather evidence to show you are and were the main carer through medical records, dentist, communication with school/nursery, his work schedule...anyway possible.

I'm not sure on how it works with divorce and where you currently stand so hopefully someone else can help. But it might be worth speaking to a solicitor and explaining the situation. They will guide you with your specific situation.

What about the 'Co Parenting' apps that keep getting mentioned which record whats happening?

Yes my ex forced me into both sets of proceedings at the same time. The stress was unreal. They are both kept completely separate and one doesn’t impact the other.

What are you hoping to achieve? The Court can’t force him to have more contact if he doesn’t want it.

Are you expecting to keep the house? If not I would move out and rent with dc. It definitely helped exH and I were not living together during legal proceedings - not just because he was vile - but because the pattern of care was really clear (even though he suddenly decided to do lots more just before the final hearing). It was a factor in me getting higher % assets on basis I needed a larger house than he did.