Mortgage capacity- fair terms

[Totallyaddictedtoshoes]

Stbxh wants to buy me out of our family home. He moved out at the end of May. He earns over 3 times more than I do. We have a 14 year old daughter who currently spends 1 night a fortnight at his rental property, she has recently agreed to increase this to include 1 weeknight per week, so we are looking at 6 nights a month with her dad. It’s very unlikely this will further increase.

I’m worried about housing as we need to stay close enough to my daughter’s school (we both work full time so she currently walks). It’s not a particularly cheap area. I am aware there should not be a huge disparity in levels of housing between our daughter’s 2 homes.

I don’t believe I should include child maintenance in mortgage capacity calculations as I will only receive this for 5 years and my new mortgage term will be longer than this. So it needs to be affordable on my income alone.

Due to his huge salary, he will be able to afford to buy me out on a pretty short mortgage term, whereas I will be looking at 20 years or so. We are both 43 and have 3 years left on the current mortgage.

I am hoping to argue for more than 50% equity on a needs based case, however, I’m worried I will be expected to provide a mortgage capacity report based on a full 25 year mortgage term ( which makes it affordable), while he can get away with a term probably around 5 years. This doesn’t seem comparable so I wouldn’t say it would be fair.

Does anyone have any experience in this area who would be able to advise if I have a case? He wants 50/50 split on everything but wishes to keep his 50k post separation savings out of it. Approximately half of this was a severance payout as he lost his job in July. I wouldn’t expect that to be split to be honest, but it does significantly add to his assets, thus making the buyout even more affordable for him.

He is not demonstrating himself to be particularly reasonable or willing to negotiate.

Any help would be hugely appreciated, I’m really stressing about this.

It is perfectly acceptable to stay within your own income (excluding any short-term child maintenance) especially if you mortgage commitment is longer than the child maintenance period. When allocating housing needs, courts and mediators will use practical housing accommodation needs including proximity to your daughter’s school, net the household reasonably similar.

It might help to document a budget and show what you can afford on an ongoing basis to support your argument for alimony other than a simple 50/50 split. Even if he isn’t engaging with you, a reasonable needs-based argument - supported by affordability evidence - will help your case. Seeking a family law solicitor or mediator with experience with buyouts in high-price areas will ensure your case is presented fairly.

Might be better moving this to legal. But also please see a solicitor for some proper advice rather than an internet forum.

Thank you. I have already created a spreadsheet showing income and expenditure, my main query is what should be reasonable as housing costs? For example if I put expected mortgage expenditure on a 20 year term it will obviously be a lot lower than if I put it over a 10 year term. He won’t need to do it over a long term as he brings home nearly 7k a month, so a high monetary repayment each month won’t have the impact it does on me.

I don’t know whether it would be considered that the mortgage terms we would both take on should be similar in order to create a “fair” comparison.

Im still raw about the divorce as there was cheating and significant emotional abuse, so I understand my judgement may be clouded. One of the biggest sadnesses for me is that I was expecting to be mortgage free in 3 years and together we would be able to support our daughter through uni, driving lessons and save for a house deposit for her etc. If I am now expected to take on a mortgage until I retire, all of that is lost 😞

The divorce process will make you equal within the parameters of the available assets. If 50% of the equity is sufficient to house you and your child then you will need to identify other reasons to deviate from 50:50 split. You will get some recognition for lifestyle. You can generally argue some career disadvantages arising from the marriage. But context is everything when doing this.

How have you defined your housing needs / ask as part of the negotiation?
How much equity is there and what is the cost of an average 2 bed property in the local area?

What is the income disparity in terms of net income allowing for additions and deductions.

Are there any pensions or other savings / investments.

He takes home about £3.5k a month more than I do.
We have about £300k equity.
3 bed semis (there really aren’t 2 beds around) are about £230k.
My overriding point is that to buy me out, his mortgage could be paid down at little detriment to his standard of living in under 10 years. This is due to him having such a high income but also because his severance payout of £35k means he won’t need a mortgage of the full amount he is buying me out for.

Is it looked upon to be fair that my £80k mortgage would not be affordable on the same 10 year mortgage term?
He refuses to meet face to face to discuss or disclose assets and is insisting we do it all via email. He wants to do D81 and keep solicitors out of it.

It's essential for you to get legal advice (even if he doesn't want you to...especially if he doesn't want you to) to ensure you receive a fair split of assets including property, savings and pensions.

This page explains more about what grounds could be to deviate from 50/50 including housing children, earning less, health issues etc and what is advised about disclosure of assets.

https://amicable.io/what-is-a-consent-order?utm_device=c&utm_adgroup=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=PMax&utm_term=&hsa_cam=22321319758&hsa_grp=&hsa_mt=&hsa_src=x&hsa_ad=&hsa_acc=6105384446&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_kw=&hsa_tgt=&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22593506798&gbraid=0AAAAADQEGthqOKapQUyzLqdOAdZ13WAuD&gclid=CjwKCAjw3tzHBhBREiwAlMJoUgIYfI2ZzjuofLWhiLNiR0tqcveszdbY2v3DPxcVgIeHUgCecU8S3hoCzkEQAvD_BwE

His argument will be that you don’t need a 3 bed semi. He just needs to show prices for 2 bed properties to demonstrate that 50% of the equity will provide you with an adequate home.

What is your income and why do you need a 20 year mortgage for a relatively small amount. What is your career history and why do you earn much less than him?

I think it’s sensible to not include child maintenance but when negotiating do try to include child support through the university years, it may not be enforceable exactly but it’s worth trying to nail down this so he doesn’t stop paying on 18th birthday - paying you until the September they start university then direct to child from then on, ideally generously

You don’t have to be “even” forever and ever after the divorce. If you can get a mortgage over however many years to make it affordable then that is fair and what you’re expected to do really, you don’t have to permanently be in the same boat.

There really aren’t any 2 beds in an area my daughter can reasonably get to school. I have read in the matrimonial causes act that the courts would want to see similar levels of housing/lifestyle between both homes.
My income isn’t bad but he is an extremely high earner, he travels a great amount with his job so I was always the primary carer. I work full time and have been with my current company 20 years.

We aren’t going to be even forever with the income disparity that’s for sure! I’m not questioning or expecting that. My point is he has a massive lump sum from his severance payment which he is expecting to keep out of the marital pot. He hasn’t even declared it, I’ve found the information via my daughter who has found financial spreadsheets of his on her laptop. That, combined with his income means he will be able to pay down the mortgage he will need to buy me out of our 4 bed detached house, whereas I would be looking at needing a 20 year mortgage to afford a 3 bed semi in the local area. I’m questioning whether that is fair, or whether it would give me a case for deviation from 50/50 equity split, so I’m not paying a mortgage until I’m 63.

It’s quite normal to need a 20-25 year mortgage on divorce and into 60s. You might be able to argue for more than 50% based on the income differences but probably unlikely in mortgage duration

It’s very normal for people to still be paying a mortgage at 63.

His severance from your post is post-separation isn’t it? So irrelevant to you and to proceedings really.

Why do you think he wants to keep solicitors out of it? Does he have a valuable pension? Do you have a pension and have they both been valued?

It may allow you to have more of the equity in the house in return for less share of his pension, which may help you afford a property with shorter mortgage.

I’d be wary of him not wanting solicitors involved.

Is your stbexh working ATM or is he out of work? I've he has found work of a similar to he had before the redundancy lump sum can be put into the pot. Most couples have a 50/50 split unless there are very good reasons why not. If your stbexh can find just 1 2 bedroom property in your DD school area that will be evidence you could if you wanted to move into a 2 bedroom and it doesn't have to be a semi-detached house either, any suitable 2 bedroom accommodation could home your DD and you. The higher amount he earns will be reflected in child maintenance payments for your DD. Going forward once you are divorced it won't matter what difference there is between your and his salary because it will no longer be any of your business. Most couples pension share 50/50. As your DD will only be at her Dad's house 6 nights a month this disparity between homes makes no difference. If he earns 3x more than you of course his home might be nicer. Also how little time he might take to pay off another mortgage again is not your business. You need to focus on you. At 43 you can get a mortgage over 25 years so that is perfectly acceptable to a court. Your mortgage would be repaid for when you retire at 68. When I divorced I only had 2 years left on our mortgage. I had 3 DC of 17, 15 and 8 and was given 63 percent of equity and I took on another 25 year mortgage and repaid after 18 years so no longer have a mortgage. We pension shared which meant I kept my pension and was given about 33 percent of his to even it up. Exh paid DD money directly when she was at Uni after she was 18. Try to get him to agree to pay towards your DD Uni fees. With only 1 DC and her already 14 you could ask for possibly 55 percent of equity but I don't you'd get more than this because technically you only need to home DD for 4 years as she will likely be at Uni.

Is the house the only asset? Are there pensions? Savings? Investments? You need to look at the whole picture. With such a big income disparity you absolutely need legal advice, regardless of what he says.

You need legal advice and I suspect the courts to sort this out because he clearly is not going to be amicable

so just start the legal process

Thanks for all your replies. There are pensions, he owes me 40k to even them up, I don’t know what percentage that will equate to, that’s just based on the numbers.

Savings were in my name because he never bothered with any research on how best to invest. I gave him his half when he moved out in May.

He had around £120k in non-vested company shares (which would have been marital assets) when he got made redundant, half of them were only 8 months off vesting so I suspect he will have argued for at least something towards that in his severance settlement, I’ll never be able to prove this though. Him getting the boot has really dented my argument for more than 50% equity as I’d been hoping to offset my portion of them. I don’t want to offset his pension, I need that to help boost my own as I was part time for years whilst our daughter was young.

He is saying he doesn’t want the expense of solicitors, but he won’t even sit down with me to show me his cetv, bank statements etc (because he won’t have his mistress to collude with him I suspect). He is expecting me to take numbers from an email and blindly agree. I don’t feel this is very fair.

It looks likely he will get a job by the end of the week as he is very near the end of the interview process. But given he is not sharing any info about the details of his payout, I don’t know how I could even argue it should be included in the pot, I only know from his dad that he got a lump sum and is being paid until the end of the year, he is telling me his dad has got multiple things wrong and so isn’t the best source of information. I don’t trust him though, given he took to lying as easily as he breathed when his affair was coming out (and some company shares behind my back which I did find out by fluke a few months later).

based on my experience in corporate life it would be unusual if he got anything in lieu of unvested shares

i wouldn’t hand my bank statements over either ( nothing to hide just don’t want ex trawling through them)

sounds like you need to go via lawyers and submit form e - but be warned could take teats and rack up costs quickly

Years not teats!

Get some advice from a mortgage broker, they can workout all these scenarios for you (and the court will factor in current house size and living style)
https://themortgagecapacityreportco.co.uk/

It sounds like there is a lot to be split here op and you may end up without the need for a mortgage.

you could also buy a 3 bedroomed house and get a lodger for the spare room.

harsh as it may seem try and forget about what his mortgage term will be and his payment and start accepting that your mortgage term could be longer than his but if you are going to be awarded 50% equity and the mortgage is early paid off, pension money and half of vested shares (and any shares that vest before divorce) personally that seems like a good amount to me.

You need to see a solicitor for advice on this. You are probably entitled to more than 50%, but I doubt they’d take into account how long you will be paying mortgage for. I’ll be paying into retirement whereas if we had stayed together, it would be paid off now.

What does your solicitor say @Totallyaddictedtoshoes

You must get legal advice, he wants to avoid solicitors to screw you over! Get a solicitor!