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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

How are loans considered during a divorce?

26 replies

Thele · 20/10/2025 00:04

Is a loan of X amount of made to a friend or family member considered a joint asset.

We had made sizable gifts and loans to my family members and friends. DH is offering me these loans instead of a share of the house, savings or pensions. For example: loans are worth £100, which he’ll sign over to me, v £60 if we were to divide our assets.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 20/10/2025 07:10

how are they being repaid ?
they’re still assets if the debt is still due to you ( the marriage)
what documentation is there? What’s the payment timeline ?

sorrynotathome · 20/10/2025 07:22

I would not accept this - loans to family & friends rarely have paperwork or definite payback dates. And if they are HIS family/friends you can probably wave goodbye to the cash.

millymollymoomoo · 20/10/2025 07:27

Op states it’s HER( assuming op is female ) family and friends.

of they’re of materiality as indicated then they need consideration - but they’re in the narital
pot like everything else

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 20/10/2025 07:29

sorrynotathome · 20/10/2025 07:22

I would not accept this - loans to family & friends rarely have paperwork or definite payback dates. And if they are HIS family/friends you can probably wave goodbye to the cash.

The OP has said that they are HER family and friends. So the H is probably thinking along the same lines.

The loans are joint, like everything else. How confident are you that they would be paid back, OP, and what would you live on in the meantime?

I think it would be fairer, and safer, to split all assets between you.

Kuretake · 20/10/2025 07:30

Thele · 20/10/2025 00:04

Is a loan of X amount of made to a friend or family member considered a joint asset.

We had made sizable gifts and loans to my family members and friends. DH is offering me these loans instead of a share of the house, savings or pensions. For example: loans are worth £100, which he’ll sign over to me, v £60 if we were to divide our assets.

Yes a loan owing is an asset (gifts are not so they shouldn't be in the pot). Sounds like he's offering to treat the loans as worth less than their face value. Do you think you'll recover the full amount? If so it's a good deal.

Whyherewego · 20/10/2025 07:32

To be honest if they are loans to your family and friends I think it's fair to give those to you because he's unlikely to be able to enforce repayment compared to you as its your family.
If he is saying you'll get the loan worth £100 instead of cash £60 then only you can tell if it's a good deal. If the family member has a documentation agreement that they are paying back regularly, seems a good deal for you. If it's I lent my dsis £100 and she'll pay it back when she can. Less good.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 20/10/2025 07:38

What he is suggesting is quite normal, and is similar to what the solicitors suggested to a friend and her ex.

They had lent money to a friend of hers to support his business, the solicitors classed the debt as a marital asset. Her exh got 50% of the value of the debt from the "pot" and she got 100% of the debt paid back to her without having to split it with him if that makes sense.

NellieElephantine · 20/10/2025 07:45

Thele · 20/10/2025 00:04

Is a loan of X amount of made to a friend or family member considered a joint asset.

We had made sizable gifts and loans to my family members and friends. DH is offering me these loans instead of a share of the house, savings or pensions. For example: loans are worth £100, which he’ll sign over to me, v £60 if we were to divide our assets.

Agree with all the pp, hopefully the family you and dh have been so generous financially too will step up, return the money and be supportive of you now.
Are you and dh seen as.a financial soft touch if so many of your side of family have been borrowing/taking money from you?

Linenpickle · 20/10/2025 09:40

Do not accept them as you have no certainty of them being paid.

Kuretake · 20/10/2025 10:00

Linenpickle · 20/10/2025 09:40

Do not accept them as you have no certainty of them being paid.

But equally they shouldn't be ignored either - they are part of the assets in the marriage. If they're split 50/50 then OP needs to accept her ex enforcing loans against her family so it all needs to weighed up I guess.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 20/10/2025 10:08

Is it a joint loan? Who is on the paperwork? If you didn't bother with paperwork then get legal advice

Loveduppenguin · 20/10/2025 10:17

The first and most important question is…is there a written agreement for these loans? If not they mean nothing!

KitchenSinkLlama · 20/10/2025 10:29

A loan isn’t an asset it is a risk.

millymollymoomoo · 20/10/2025 10:50

Not if it’s repayment is clear

even if not documented well it would not be fair for op to receive ( for arguments sake ) 50% of house/pensions etc then after that’s gone through family members suddenly repay all the loans. That would be completely unfair to ex in this scenario

Kuretake · 20/10/2025 10:56

KitchenSinkLlama · 20/10/2025 10:29

A loan isn’t an asset it is a risk.

It's not a risk - it's either an asset or it's nothing.

Original poster
Thele · 20/10/2025 13:43

sorrynotathome · 20/10/2025 07:22

I would not accept this - loans to family & friends rarely have paperwork or definite payback dates. And if they are HIS family/friends you can probably wave goodbye to the cash.

They are mine friends and family. There is documentation but the repayment has been patchy. He is encouraging me to take ownership because it’s easier for him. He will likely start legal proceedings to recover the debt and I feel I need to accept the loans to stop him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thele · 20/10/2025 13:46

Kuretake · 20/10/2025 07:30

Yes a loan owing is an asset (gifts are not so they shouldn't be in the pot). Sounds like he's offering to treat the loans as worth less than their face value. Do you think you'll recover the full amount? If so it's a good deal.

Show quote history

I won’t recover a penny. They money was a business that has failed but the loans were to individuals. I won’t see a penny if O accept the loans but he will use them to screw over my family and friends.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 20/10/2025 13:55

Im sorry but expecting your friends and family to pay back loans is not ‘screwing them over’

they are screwing you and your ex over by not repaying and expecting you to write them
off. Your ex is 100% correctly to pursue !

how much are we talking about ?

childofthe607080s · 20/10/2025 13:57

How did your husband feel when you made these “loans” which are hardly loans if you have no chance of getting the money back! T

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 20/10/2025 14:01

Thele · 20/10/2025 13:43

They are mine friends and family. There is documentation but the repayment has been patchy. He is encouraging me to take ownership because it’s easier for him. He will likely start legal proceedings to recover the debt and I feel I need to accept the loans to stop him.

Show quote history

Hmm, that puts a different spin on it tbh.

You can't expect him to just write off significant debts to your friends and family and give you a fair share of any assets.

You've indicated that your friends and family are unlikely to repay the loans. Can you clarify why you think your H shouldn't take action to recover these debts?

ShesTheAlbatross · 20/10/2025 14:10

Thele · 20/10/2025 13:46

I won’t recover a penny. They money was a business that has failed but the loans were to individuals. I won’t see a penny if O accept the loans but he will use them to screw over my family and friends.

Show quote history

“Screw them over” or just expect them to pay back money they agreed to take as a loan?

Jellybunny56 · 20/10/2025 14:14

Thele · 20/10/2025 13:46

I won’t recover a penny. They money was a business that has failed but the loans were to individuals. I won’t see a penny if O accept the loans but he will use them to screw over my family and friends.

Show quote history

It’s not “screwing over your family and friends” to expect them to repay a LOAN they agreed to and accepted.

If you want to let them run off with your cash then great, but you take the cost of that yourself.

Whyherewego · 20/10/2025 14:48

Thele · 20/10/2025 13:46

I won’t recover a penny. They money was a business that has failed but the loans were to individuals. I won’t see a penny if O accept the loans but he will use them to screw over my family and friends.

Show quote history

Well then this puts a different spin on things.
How many different loans are we talking about and how patchy is it?
I think the best you can do is to negotiate the value of the loan ie is it worth 60pc or maybe less if you think there's little prospect of getting it paid back.

NellieElephantine · 20/10/2025 14:59

Jellybunny56 · 20/10/2025 14:14

It’s not “screwing over your family and friends” to expect them to repay a LOAN they agreed to and accepted.

If you want to let them run off with your cash then great, but you take the cost of that yourself.

Show quote history

This. @Thele why is it 'screwing someone over' to get them to repay a loan?

PeachyPeachTrees · 21/10/2025 18:00

Personally I'd 50/50 the loans between you. Your friends and family will probably wriggle out of paying you while he will not stand for that and get his money back.

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