Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some advice about separating/divorcing DH. He isn’t a bad person but, although he has a decent paying job, is terrible with money. Took out several loans when younger and didn’t pay them off - it’s followed us into our marriage and two more letters from lenders have come through the letterbox today. I don’t know the contents as he is out at the minute. I’ve come to the realisation that, although he is getting slightly better, he will never change. He’s had counselling, I’ve tried to take over family finances, promised me he’ll change but it just never seems to fully go away. It’s been 10 years. The trust is gone.
I’m exploring whether separating is actually feasible or if I just have to quietly make plans. The latter will take a while. I’m currently studying a degree so make very little money (less than £1000/month). My husband has been supportive of this and is generally great and supportive in all other aspects of life. I also have a credit card with a balance of £5000 on it (I know, terrible decision but it was taken out whilst I was working full time). We have leaned on this for larger bills such as MOT whilst I’ve been studying. We can comfortably make payments to this with my husbands wages but it would be hard for me to cover on my own. We have been trying to build an emergency fund and have around £1000 in it. I’ve been trying so hard to be careful with money but every month something unforeseen comes along.
I’ve been questioning how I could actually leave whilst making so little money. My degree has one year left. I could live with my parents if I had to. There would be no house to sell as we are private renters on a rolling monthly lease. We also have two school age DC just to add to everything else! It just seems like such a mess. Can’t believe I let it get to this place tbh.
What support is there out there for single parents? I’ve had a brief look at universal credit but unsure how it all works.
Thanks if you’ve made it this far.