Is there a way to encourage ex to see more of his dc without causing friction?

[pinkduckk]

My ex lives nearby, dc is a teen. Ex sees them regularly as in popping in to say hello, maybe go out for a quick meal or something, but no overnights, no formal arrangement.
It's been over a year, pensions are slowing down legal proceedings. I cant believe he hasn't voluntarily wanted time with dc and at first I was pleased about this really. But as time has moved on I increasingly want a bit of time "off" and I'm worried about their lack of relationship (he thinks their relationship is great).
I don't want to rock the boat as it's reasonably amicable but can this be it? I love my dc but I think for everyone involved they need to have more contact...do i just have to accept it's not going to happen?

Lone parent for 15 years here. Totally understand you OP. When DD was still into tennis and stagecoach I would savour the opportunity to go and just have a mooch, a swim or a coffee in town. She is 16 now (young though as she has AuDHD) so she still needs company if I need to go away. Lucky I have a sister close by who will do that on the odd occasion. But she is old enough to come sit in the pub garden with me, I will have a pint and she sits and natters away over a coke. It’s tough though I know.

You have two choices really. You suck it up and find small slices of time. I’ll leave DD for an hour or so on her own, or you tell your ex he is being a shit dad by just dipping in and out of his life, he should be looking to spend quality time, weekends and he occasional holiday etc

Stop him popping in to yours. That should solve all issues. Stay at the door, here is son.

Would you be happy with DC having a friend over for a sleepover if you were going to be out late? Any family or friends locally with a dog he could borrow for company if you don’t have one? I get that some 15 yr olds don’t like being in house alone in the dark. Things do change quickly though so this phase probably won’t last long

Thank you all! @Weetwoodwe actually have a dog which is great in some ways but does still add to the layers of responsibility.
@CarrierbagsAndPJsI HATE the popping in but until we are financially separated I'm not sure i can prevent it?
@jeaux90and @waddleandtoddleyoure absolutely right, and I am really encouraging friends, hobbies etc and it does buy me little windows of time.

But OP you do need to set out some boundaries now. Are you staying in the home or you selling it? If it is and you are selling it get why you can’t keep him from popping by but you still need boundaries here. The other option is you suggest that he stays for a weekend at the house and you use his rental so he gets to spend time with DS. This works for some couples but only if it’s amicable.

@jeaux90(I love your username btw) it is reasonably amicable but I would say only barely so? If we stick to day to day minimal interactions it's fine, but anything separation / financial he tends to fly off the handle and get unpleasant.
So I'm keeping the peace to an extent by not broaching things like this, but I'm becoming increasingly resentful of having to do this