Having a wobble

[thislittleworldofmine]

There is so much back story it isn't funny...so will likely be a drip feed as I dont even know how to unpack everything other than to say I am hurting.
I 'left' in November if last year having tried to manage with and open marriage and failing. I lived in office for 8myhs before I was able to get my new place. He was actively with other people during this tine and whike there were some ouches it was better than when I was trying to still be in a relationship with him. Moved out Juky and he has a girlfriend and I have had a wave of grief. I tried to do some Byron Katie work on it but I haven't found relief...I am glad that he is happier than when he was with me but man it still hurts.

It will hurt, even though he sounds awful and you’ll be much better off without him

do you have children together ?

Yes, two. One 21tr old who lives with him my 16 year old with high health needs lives wuth me.

Wobble is turning into an earthquake. Have an urgent counsellor calling at 6. A little scared.

Sorry you're feeling so awful. When I had major anxiety wobbles last year, I couldn't work out why nothing I tried was working - deep breathing, meditations, relaxing music - and my therapist pointed out that those tools will only work once I have made them a regular practice and then my body will recognise them and they will work in an emergency. So, not a quick fix but when you're feeling a bit stronger, try to embed some of the practices that resonate with you (you mentioned Byron Katie) and then you'll have them to fall back on.
I hope your counselling session brings you some relief and that you start to feel better soon.

Thank you. I meditate every day and have been trying to do all I can think of to get through this.