What convinced your ex to cough up more ££ ?

[Risehigh]

Hello,
What arguments did you use to sway your ex to not start splitting assets at 50% ? Any cases you know of that I can refer to ? I feel like I've run out of ideas and even our mediator is losing hope that we'll reach an agreement...
With his 51% offer in my favour, my ex and I are still miles apart from the 70-80% split in assets that my solicitor tells me I need to ensure a fair outcome for us both and a similar foundation for our kids in our next chapter. I've always worked full time, more recently in central government and currently on promotion which is helping with extra costs associated to our separation. He loves our kids and loathes me. I keep reframing things to remind him we are splitting our money (he always struggled with the concept of 'we' and 'ours') for the kids sake in the hope that he understands what I am asking for is what's fairest on them.
Hit me with any tactics, tips, arguments, rebuttals etc ! Thank you !

We probably need to understand the details of the actual asset pot, and yours and your exes incomes and potential incomes. Courts prefer 50/50 split in most cases but it will help to understand why you believe 70/80:30/20 is reasonable to a court?

Thanks. He earns 2.3x my salary.

The judge. Ex husband tried to hide one of his pensions...

Did your solicitor just invent those percentages? Will the man not be parenting his kids at least 50% of the time?
Who's going to buy the other out of the house? 80% of marital assets doesn't seem viable.

Solicitor and I went through every penny in our marital pot, income, pensions, future outgoings etc. I'm looking for a clean break despite the solicitor recommending I should also seek global maintenance. I will be doing between 60/50% of childcare. A 30/70 split gives both of us an equal -ish footing from the get go.

Don't forget your solicitor wants you to fight for more…more £££’s for them.

The high proportioned split you seem to be advised to go for is huge.

My ExDH and I were told by a judge, when I asked for my hard saved for post separation car (£5,000) to be excluded from the pot -’where is that money going to come from, ExDH is entitled to a standard of living too’.

Work out if large legal bills (and the stress of fighting) are going to be financially worth it.

Why don’t you accept the 50/50 and then claim through the CMS for child support if you’re going to be doing 60% childcare

where did this 70/80% come from? That sounds very unfair.

Yes sounds like you think you're owed payment for your marriage breaking down
Like he should compensate you for things not working out. Your solicitor is just after money and is advising you in ways that prioritise that.

70-80% sounds an extraordinary percentage if he’s doing almost 50% of childcare.

A 30/70 split gives both of us an equal -ish footing from the get go.

How? You have always worked full time, you'll be parenting 50/50, slightly above 50% of the joint assets seems more than fair.
You haven't clarified why you feel entitled to take 80% of the joint assets?

It does sound like your solicitor is telling you nonsense in order to get more money out of you.

You don't accept 50/50 as anything else is greed. If he has a higher income ask him to pay a certain amount per month for things like uniforms, clothes, clubs, childcare etc.

The relevant parts missing here are

what is the value of assets
what are the housing needs ( you each have same need)
What are both your incomes

just because he earns 2 times more is not enough on its own to justify the asset split you want.

Global maintenance is extremely rare unless he’s a very high earner, even more so that if he does 50:50 childcare there’s no maintenance due !

If you solicitor is well informed re assets and incomes then his advice is better than ours. How much actual information have you shared with the solicitor at this stage? There is a difference between generic advice offered in an initial consultation and an informed position based on the disclosure of all the relevant information.

If you are not at that stage everything is just spitballing and positioning.

Generally speaking a clean break is always better than spousal support as it is cash now. Whilst spousal support is not guaranteed.

Global maintenance? Why is that not when one spouse gets one big lumped together spousal and child maintenance, but the parent gets to decide how and on whom its spent.... so technically could decide, all of it goes to them, not the dc?

You need to base your rationale on needs mainly. There is an element of keeping with the marriage lifestyle but it's a small one after everything else is considered and that usually really apply when when client is earning a lot more than double what the other earns.

Age and length of marriage comes into it too.

Global maintenance is really rare and he’d have to be earning mega bucks … if he’s 2.3 x your salary then by extension you’d be earning quite a lot as well

you haven’t actually set out why you believe you are entitled to 80%? Your solicitor will say anything if it racks up a big fee

70/80% of the pot is huge. I earn slightly more than XH. (Think 10-15k pa rather than multiples). The biggest assets are the house and his pension. Waiting on a consent order but we've agreed 60/40 of the house in my favour and 75/25 of his pension in his favour. My pension was barely worth including. Yes I could have had more of the pension but we've spent £'000s on fees already. I want to stop before we add another 0. For what it's worth I have DD almost full-time. He pays cms based on EOW but she's had a failed overnight last weekend after no overnights since May. I would love her to stay over/have offered more time.
I'm young enough to sort my pension out.

My solicitor
The judge
cold hard cash upfront to buy him out of the house
The CMS

I'm not sure @Risehigh . Whilst I think a 70/30 is great I'm also not sure it's fair. My H earns twice as much as me, has a bigger, much bigger pension pot and he will be happily, swimmingly along once we're divorced I am admittedly going to struggle which I don't think is fair. Unfortunately the courts as others have said generally like a 50/50 split.

Courts do deviate from 50:50 when they need to

but it depends what’s in the pot and other variables. If your needs can be met with 50:50 that could be it. If they can’t a variation could be made but will depend on needs of other party as well as ages/earnings and so on

simply having a husband who earns 2x more in itself us not necessarily enough to justify such a deviation as op wants