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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How to deal with the anger

2 replies

Onedayatatim3 · 13/10/2025 12:03

Hi all,

A bit of background - I’m currently in the process of divorcing my ex-husband and we have a three-year-old daughter. I left him as he made me miserable and I basically became his mother. He was disinterested in our daughter and left everything to me and always had an excuse if it was his turn to do bathtime, etc. I left him last Christmas as I was finally done (Not sure why I stayed for so long). My daughter and I now live with my parents as he wouldn’t leave the marital home as he nowhere to go. I am now stuck until we sell the house which is struggling to sell despite being reduced in price.

She had her first full weekend with him this weekend. Staying back at the marital home and when she came home she was a nightmare. Crying for him and hitting me. I understand its really confusing for her and I also get how kids hold their feelings for the parent they feel safest with. HOWEVER, I am so angry that all of sudden he is being seen as this fun great dad when he didn’t want to know her when we lived with him. It also sucks to hear she slept through the night when she always wakes up with me. Just feels like a big slap in the face.

I just want to help with how to handle all this anger. I try to be calm with her but sometimes I struggle and end up shouting and I hate myself for it. I feel like I make progress with her and then we end up back to square one. All the while he just gets to play the good fun dad and I’m miserable angry mummy.
Just looking for anyone who has been in the same position and can offer some advice?

Thank you x

OP posts:
Size40Shoes · 14/10/2025 08:21

Counselling. Counselling helped me, running and the gym. Taking my stress out on the road and weights really helped/helps.

ICantWaitAnotherMinute · 14/10/2025 22:06

@Onedayatatim3 did he tell you that DD slept through the night? Take it with a pinch of salt - he's probably lying - remember if he says anything like that again, smile and and say "that's great" then move on.

Like size40shoes said, I would recommend counselling too. Being angry is not good for you or DD and it might help to talk that through. Being miserable sucks too! What can you do to take care of you?

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