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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Ex sil worried about ex

7 replies

Bread121bread · 05/10/2025 07:36

Ex cut me and the children off back in May 2025, because I said I won't stop the child maintenance claim and rejected his idea of us getting back together. Ps it has been more than a year that he claimed he earns £0. So I been getting £0.

Sil called me on Friday and asked me how can she get into contact with him. I said, I have no idea. He decided to shout at me and cut me out back in May. Both mine and ds1 phone have been blocked.
My dc have been feeling sad and abandoned by their father. Crying few times. The worst for ME was when ds1 came to my room crying and asking "why did dad give me this phone to call him anytime I want, for him no to answer?"
I comforted him and said your dad loves you, he is just currently distracted by something. I do not know what he is planning, all I know is that he loves you.

I hate ex for what he is doing. But now SIL is worried about his welfare. I repeated few times that an adult has decided to cut me & the dc out of his life. He said it clearly and deliberately back in May. To me, to the point that ds2 came running out of the house.

Do I have any responsibility or obligations to my dc to try and find the father of my children? Also how would I do this? Especially, since I clearly been told he is going to cut me out.

Ex has one brother, sister and a visiting sister. His parents died a long time ago. It is OK, to leave his siblings to look for him right? Sil was shocked to hear that ex cut contract.

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 05/10/2025 12:41

You're absolutely in the clear, it has nothing to do with you now. I'm so sorry for your DC, that's very hard for them. I hope he can get his head together and come back into their lives in a positive way at some point.

Winterscomingbrrr · 05/10/2025 12:51

Tell her if she is worried then she should contact the police.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 05/10/2025 12:56

I would suggest a few friends that she could try and contact and then leave it, it's not your problem.

Anonymous23456 · 05/10/2025 13:01

Winterscomingbrrr · 05/10/2025 12:51

Tell her if she is worried then she should contact the police.

I agree with this. If she's worried she can contact the police and male a missing persona report. As an adult he's allowed to go missing.

NebulousSadTimes · 05/10/2025 13:03

Sil was shocked to hear that ex cut contract.

Because he'll still be showing his 'nice' side to her. He could well be playing with his sister's emotions knowing she'd contact you, please be very careful that you're not sucked in to his games. You have no obligation to do anything.

If she is concerned for his welfare she can contact the police to do a welfare check.

NotoriousABC · 05/10/2025 13:45

Tell her if she finds him, to let him know the kids are starving and that he owes maintenance

Bread121bread · 05/10/2025 21:43

Thank you all. I don't know his new friends, just old coworkers. If sil calls me back I will advise her to ask the police for welfare check if she is still worried about him.

Thank you for the advice, I really do appreciate it. I wasn't sure if my feelings were clouding my judgement.

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