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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Changing your surname post divorce

3 replies

LoisLanyard · 05/10/2025 07:28

My divorced was finalised earlier this year and I’m now in a headspace (finally) where I can start to think about things like changing my surname back. But how do I do it and what are the downsides eg travelling with the kids (one is 17 and the other 15 so I assume this won’t be much of a problem)??

I’m mostly worried about having to change it at work - I have a very client facing role and changing my surname feels like a big announcement about my private life to a lot of people. I do a lot of stuff at events internationally within the industry I work in and so it will also involve me changing my surname with several organisations. But I also don’t want my ex husbands surname anymore, and rationally I know that most people won’t gossip about it. I don’t know what I’m so worried about really but I am quite anxious at the thought of everyone knowing. Or somehow people getting confused and my entire career evaporates because they no longer know who I am with the different surname (again, I know this isn’t likely but I can’t help but worry). My ex was weirdly jealous of my career and did his best to sabotage it the last few years we were married and so I am quite paranoid about it all!
has anyone changed their surname back and how did they manage the process at work if they were in a similar situation to me?

OP posts:
Size40Shoes · 05/10/2025 15:30

I'm not completely finished with the divorce but I changed my name with my solicitor via deed of name change. I've worked hard in my career and felt the same as you so am keeping my married name for client facing business only.

LoisLanyard · 05/10/2025 21:20

Thank you - I hadn’t thought of keeping it for professional purposes. That’s a good idea!

OP posts:
ChatHRT · 05/10/2025 21:34

I changed my name by deed poll for free- way to do and plenty of advice online
For travel, I took a letter from my ex, marriage, birth and divorce certificates with me until my kids were 18. It was annoying to have to do it, but better to have all the paperwork just in case

I changed my name at work and it was surprisingly freeing. But you could keep your name at work as the previous poster said.

Don’t be scared of it, I love having my family name back. Biggest regret is not insisting my kids had my surname as a middle name.

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