Divorce/Final Order Delays/Financial Order Delays - So fed up of the control!

[Mileymoocow]

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here.

I'm the respondent in a high conflict divorce. The whole process has been on his terms. We were granted the conditional order around March and he was eligible to apply for Final Order some time in early May. He didn't.

I applied early August, paid the fee and STILL haven't heard a thing. My solicitor has no idea what is going on - she can't get a response from his solicitor re: financial order despite us chasing 3 times now. I suspect the divorce has been contested by him as this still isn't in place. We don't have anything to share other than the house - he really doesn't have reason to delay this so significantly.

I feel like this is never ending. Please tell me he can't control this forever.

@Mileymoocow that sounds really frustrating! Is there any way you can call the courts and see if they offer an update on the case if you quote the case number?

It won't last forever (sorry I can't promise it will be soon) and it sure does feel shit sometimes - there is only so much chanting and meditation one can do to get through it!

I feel your pain!!! Stbexh won’t provide pension valuation, says there’s delays. I have a suspicion he’s delaying until I no longer have school fees as one of my main outgoings so increases my disposable income position and he can claim poverty. I’m not even claiming his pension!!!! I just need it so the judge will sign off on the financial order!!!

i could have applied for the final order already but just this one item holding it all up. Just want it done! Would have thought now he’s gone public with his affair partner she’d be pushing for it to be completed, maybe I should ring her to get him moving 😂😂

I'll never understand - don't want us but don't want us to move on and find closure! It sucks there are so many of us in the same boat.

I'm a significantly higher earner than him, but he insisted he stayed in the house until it sold (I was actually OK with this initially so I could save). Then came the letters that he hadn't paid the mortgage. Claimed he couldn't afford to, so then I had to contribute a large sum. He now has no incentive to push the house sale at all.

I also don't know if it's even worth me saving a penny until this is all sorted. Would he be entitled to my savings I've managed to pull together?

It's 19 months since we separated.

I’m 14 months post separation. I was lucky to stay in the house, he couldn’t afford to take it on.

can you move back into the house at all? Take control over getting it sold? Can you buy him out and tell him to sod off?

this is my issue as well, I earn over 4 x more than my ex, it’s like a form of punishment to try and hit us financially. Instead it just drives me to succeed even more. We’ll probably have to do another financial disclosure before the divorce gets finalised, I’ve built up savings, invested in my home and it kills me he may be able to use it against me. Have you got a decent solicitor?

You say you’ve got nothing to share except the house? 50/50? You’re paying the mortgage and they’re living in it? Sorry if I’ve misunderstood, but if that’s the case, if I was him I wouldn’t be in any hurry either…..

You haven't misunderstood, and I know it's bloody ridiculous. But he didn't pay for 2 months, so I had to contribute a large sum of the arrears. The alternative was a credit score impact, which would then prevent me from buying another once our house is sold. I offered to stay in the house, and it was a solid no from day one.

My solicitor has said that it's likely going to be a court summons for the financial order completion, too. She did hint that as there was a large amount of debt paid off by me (in my name) after we separated but before the divorce, that will be taken into account which could mean I'm owed more from the sale of the house. I'm now assuming he's also been told this.

I called the court today re:divorce, though. They said a decision had been made on 23rd September and I should get an email soon about the outcome. Fingers crossed!