How do you do Christmas?

[Loveduppenguin]

There was a few that are divorced/separated and have 50-50 custody. How do you do Christmas? This is not our first Christmas separated but it will be our first Christmas where I won’t be having him round for dinner. I want to make sure it’s easy for my DC and that they get to see their dad on Christmas Day. Christmas. Day happens to fall on my day with them. So am I thinking is that they will have Christmas morning here, stay with me for a nice Christmas breakfast and spend some time together and he can collect them for 1ish and take them to test to have Christmas evening/dinner together. What way do you do it? What do you think would be best? I will ask for DC, but I’d like to have some suggestions and play first. Thank you.

We split the day alternate years. So this year I have Xmas Eve through to 3pm on Xmas day. So my year to provide Xmas dinner.

On the years I pick her up at 3pm we open presents, eat chocolate and watch a Christmas film. And then have a fun Boxing Day.

We alternate.

Whoever's turn it is to have the kids on Christmas Day also get them on Christmas Eve from teatime so that they go to bed and wake up in the same house. They then go to the other parents on Boxing Day morning.

My DSC however, have a split day and HATE it. They'd much rather stay put all day in one place. It's also a massive ballache with arrangements. I'd avoid that like the plague.

Hi op how old is DC, are you and x amicable, right now

im so torn as I don’t want him to be alone over Christmas. He will have no where to go unless he goes home (flies) to his parents which he won’t want to do as then he won’t see the dc over Christmas as such.

I’m the kid in this situation. We always had xmas day with mum. Then always had Boxing Day with dad. It’s been the same every year since & im now mid-40s. I always loved having 2 Xmas days.

They are 10 and 12. We are fairly amicable.

I personally don’t mind this idea but he would be on his own then which wouldn’t be nice.

if you’re amicable with their dad & don’t want him to be alone could be pop in for an hour or so. Having said that, he’s an adult. You don’t need to take responsibility for him. I would love a Xmas day to myself! Nice food. Crap tv. Perfect.

Not divorced but parents were separated growing up. We alternated a split day - if I spent Christmas eve with mum we would open presents, have breakfast and then walk along to dad's for dinner and boxing day. The next year we would flip, Christmas eve and breakfast at dads and dinner at mums. Always worked well and felt exciting :)

I’m living with a new partner now so I reckon he will not want to pop in unfortunately. I could offer…but he may say no.

I’m thinking this might be the best option Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at mine and then their dad can collect them and do Christmas evening/presents/dinner at his? I honestly don’t think my DC wouldn’t mind that they’d find it quite exciting to have to parts of the day to open gifts. I can collect them then on Boxing Day to go visit my parents.

DD15 prefers a split day, we live really close to each other which helps. She'll be with me on Christmas Eve and we'll do presents on Christmas morning with a nice leisurely breakfast.

Her dad will pick her up at lunchtime and she'll have the afternoon/dinner with him and his OH/kids and come back to me later in the evening.

We don't really have any strict your days/my days unless we have plans though, then we work around each other's availability. DD never stays over at his though, so she always comes home to sleep, regardless.

Yes we live close too which helps massively. Thank you.

We have always done Christmas morning with me, Christmas lunch wherever I am (eg my parents) and then he goes to his dads around 4 pm for another Christmas dinner. A bit bonkers but did work with our timings as ex preferred to eat later and recover from a Christmas Eve hangover in the morning. I thought ds would want to change as he’s older now but he loves his 2 Christmas dinners 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Have you asked your kids what they want? They’re old enough to have some thoughts on it and as their old enough not to believe in Santa, you don’t have to plan around Santa’s visit…
My child is still young, this will be our 3rd Christmas since I left my ex and my child will spend Christmas with me again. My ex has never asked to see our child for Christmas and I doubt he will this year either, so I do what’s best for my child so they have the most magical day possible which my ex would be incapable of doing..

Op this is lovely of you, and yes that would solve the ' x on his own and he gets to spend a few hours with DC too, I only asked the question as if you two can do things like this now its stops all the issues in future and DC won't be in a tug of war ( pleasing one to upset the other)

So if you guys can talk now about it, Xmas, birthdays, parents evening, school term times, you would be in a great place moving forwards,

You should be able to swop between you two when things like school half term falls and you can not get your AL but its your turn , wouldn't it be lovely for DC that you can ring x and ask him to do that one,

It's all about the communication op now, and your DC would be in a much nicer place and what a good example you'll be both setting,

So much to take in, after school activities, dentist/ GP appointments,

So if you and x can get this right now ,

Op this is lovely of you, and yes that would solve the ' x on his own and he gets to spend a few hours with DC too, I only asked the question as if you two can do things like this now its stops all the issues in future and DC won't be in a tug of war ( pleasing one to upset the other)

So if you guys can talk now about it, Xmas, birthdays, parents evening, school term times, you would be in a great place moving forwards,

You should be able to swop between you two when things like school half term falls and you can not get your AL but its your turn , wouldn't it be lovely for DC that you can ring x and ask him to do that one,

It's all about the communication op now, and your DC would be in a much nicer place and what a good example you'll be both setting,

So much to take in, after school activities, dentist/ GP appointments,

So if you and x can get this right now ,

The one good thing my exh did was to agree I could have every Xmas day with kids and he'd take both Boxing Day and New Year's day. I know he only agreed it because he couldn't be bothered to do Xmas stockings and cook Xmas dinner but I was grateful and it's always worked out well. Kids when they were younger used to ask to take him some turkey for Boxing day which I used to let them. Kids are adults now and DD is with her own DH and DGC. 1 ds spends every other Xmas with me and other D's spends every Xmas with me. I do early Xmas first weekend of December for all my 3 DC and dgc and cook a bug Xmas dinner then, take DGC ice skating and we all do the paint a pottery Xmas decoration which gets fired and I collect for them 2 weeks later. Exh gets to see his DC either Boxing day or day after that.

Yes we are very much like this with every other part of the year, it’s really only this Christmas that I am unsure if the way it should go as it’s the first time I won’t be having him for Christmas morning and dinner. We have everything else sorted as such which is great.

Bloody amazing op so many get this wrong and what a mess is courses,

So have you spoken to DC see how it goes and maybe all three of you have the conversation because its only DC that will be upset in all this ,
I really do think you can make this work, but get DC on board see what there thinking,

I haven’t asked them yet..but I definitely will. ☺️

We alternate the day, this will be my first Christmas without my kids. I just thought I don't like getting up and ready when I'm enjoying myself, so why would the kids? They have to leave their toys, wouldn't be able to do things at whatever pace we like as would have a time to leave.
So we do 3pm Christmas eve until 4pm boxing day. I will be doing my Christmas early this year. I want a Christmas morning with them, and splitting Christmas day I wouldn't get that, so that was my bit of selfishness. Santa is coming early to their home with me, we will write him a letter explaining.

@BookArt55 That's exactly my thinking too. I also watch my DSC having to eat their dinner really quickly because they are getting collected, or on other years, they get dropped off as we're eating ours... They get presents then have to up and leave them. My DSC got a PS5 last year and then had to leave it behind straightaway. It just works better for everyone for them to have a full relaxed day. They love having two Christmas's as well - they said it really makes the fun and excitement last!