Please give me a push!

[ikeepforgetting]

I have drafted my finance proposal for ex, with a view to getting this done and dusted by early December when I can apply for Final Order. But why can't I press send?! I absolutely want to divorce the arsehole, so it isn't second thoughts by any means. It just feels so exposing and vulnerable to be looking at a much reduced standard of living in my 50s and beyond. And sending this to him sets it in stone.

Anyone want to cheerlead me into doing this today?

You'll feel better once it's done.

I do understand it feels real sending this but it's not going to change anything delaying.

Someone with better words than me will be along shortly....

I am in exactly the same situation! Just doing a final check of the d81 before sending it in to the solicitor.

We agree and it is amicable, just feels very exposing especially as we are after an unusual split.

We get the Conditional order next week, with final order possible end of Nov (although doubt the financials will be done in time).

The whole thing is making me feel very strange, sort of out of body like. I know it’s a good decision but I feel very weird.

Me too. I'll be soon in the same boat as you and soon to be entering my 50s. I am trying to think of my later and better years as a lot less to live on but a heck of a more peaceful life! Go on, do it and keep moving forward. There's always a way around these things, cutting back, benefits, getting a lodger if needs must..

Thanks, I can't get past the fact that it was his appalling behaviour that led to this. I am at peace with being single and happy to be rebuilding that part of life, but the money worry infuriates me. We built everything over decades and now it gets ripped up and probably fought over and we all end up in a worse position. I am desperate to be rid of him so I will try to see this as a means to an end!

I am in a similar position @ikeepforgetting if if makes you feel better. I left people/home town etc behind to be with him and start a life together and when we divorce and I start my new life I'll be certainly scraping the barrel and starting again. Agree its infuriating but in the meantime I'll be saving every penny I can through whatever means, even my Tesco club card points!!

You're right, we will be in a worse position house wise and money wise for sure but try and take the positives from it even if they are very small x

I am in a similar position @ikeepforgetting if if makes you feel better. I left people/home town etc behind to be with him and start a life together and when we divorce and I start my new life I'll be certainly scraping the barrel and starting again. Agree its infuriating but in the meantime I'll be saving every penny I can through whatever means, even my Tesco club card points!!

You're right, we will be in a worse position house wise and money wise for sure but try and take the positives from it even if they are very small x

Did you send it @ikeepforgetting?

I submitted mine to solicitor and STBEXH at lunchtime. Now just to wait and see where it takes us.

Yep, sent it yesterday. Not a peep from ex yet. I am trying to negotiate directly with him firstly to save money but we'll see how that goes! Good luck x