50/50 agreement breached - Time for Court?

[custody101]

Hi everyone,

I'm a dad currently co-parenting on a 50/50 arrangement via a private written agreement. I am at the point of seeking a formal legal agreement because I feel my current voluntary arrangement is not working and my requests for their safety whilst in her care have been breached(She has a history of drug use and alcoholism).

The Problem:
I have kept detailed evidence (written and audio) of repeated breaches of our private agreement. These breaches directly relate to my request of what she does around our DD(she can do what she wants when they are there as It is none of my business).

Agreement and breaches

1. No Drugs/Drug usage/drug dealers around Child: Her current FWB(formerly boyfriend) kept drugs within her home(he moved out when I threatened to report to police). Crucially, our agreement stipulated he was not to be around our DD, but I recently discovered he was at her house whilst DD was in her care; likely brought her drugs too and previously an incident occurred where they were locked at the other end of the house having sex and DD woke up and managed to wander outside to neighbours at 1am looking for her. Hence this was agreed upon.
2. Parental Drug and Alcohol Use: Our agreement states she cannot get drunk or do drugs while DD is with her. Her long time best friend has confirmed in writing to me that she has been drunk on three occasions in the last seven days alone whilst DD was in her care. She openly did drugs during our custody swap a few days ago in her own kitchen whilst I was packing DD’s bag.
3. Grandparents visits/stays: Agreement states that her parents should not drink or do drugs when they are looking after DD(at theirs or Ex’s house). My ex requested this of them, and I know they have done so and she cannot control them but I surely can, no?

My Questions here are:
I have what I believe is strong, direct evidence of multiple breaches that put the children at risk whilst in her care. Given these serious safety concerns, I need advice on the best route here

1. Mediation vs. Court: Given the evidence of active substance abuse and breaches that affect the DD’s immediate safety /wellbeing, is Mediation a useful starting point, or should I be looking to apply straight to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order (C100 form)?
2. Custody Outcome: With this level of evidenced risk (dealer FWB coming in, confirmed intoxication and drug use with DD there, grandparent using with DD in their care, and the DD's exposure to it all), do I stand a high chance of being granted full custody, or is the court more likely to order a 50/50 split with legally enforceable, supervised, or restrictive conditions?

My goal is to secure the children's safety and establish a legally binding order. Any advice from those with experience in the UK family courts regarding a similar issue would be greatly appreciated. Ideal outcome is 50/50 split with legally enforceable conditions as a start because I do care that DD still has her mum around.

Erm... call social services when your daughter is in your care. If i was you I wouldn't be allowing my child to go back due to risk, I would be going for a lives with order with mum having supervised visits, hopefully building up as mum recovers.
I'm surprised you still think 50/50 is even possible given what you disclosed. No responsible adult is there to care for your child!
That's me obviously taking everything you state as fact with proof.

I would safe guard your DD and not let your ex have her. Have you disclosed these occurrences to her school/nursery.

My son had similar problems with his ex and his daughter now lives with him and has only supervised visits with her mum as stated in the court order. Cafcass and the school were very supportive. It was obviously very upsetting for his daughter but she is now much happier and thriving with her father. You must safeguard your daughter

Firstly, drop the language about breaches. There's no legal order in place so there are no breaches.
secondly, what drugs are you talking about? What did she do during contact handover?
thirdly are you trying to address an issue that genuinely causes risk and harm to your DD or is it about her not doing what you think is right? It's not unusual for parents to drink while caring for children, or to have sex at night when their child is sleeping.
I'm not trying to minimise anything, but the court will be interested in what the actual impact and harm js caused to your DD, not whether you just disagree on how to parent.
If you genuinely believe she's got a drug addiction and uses when your DD is in her care then you need to stop contact while she sorts it out. But bear in mind if the drug is cannabis and she smokes only when DD is in bed for example that is unlikely to be considered risky enough for a court to stop overnight contact. It's also unlikely you'd get any kind of order stating she must not smoke cannabis - generally speaking low level cannabis use falls within the legally permitted variations in parenting choices rather than anything a court would legislate over.

You should be seeking full ‘custody’ with you and supervised access only with your ex

and I wouldn’t be returning them to her. Get an emergency application in

You are spot on, just after posting this yesterday, worse has happened just 4 hours later and 50/50 is not safe at all.

Going full on and won't return her today.

school is aware of her mental health issues which she has secretly used as a cover for her substance abuse

Did you read what I said in fool?

1. Breach is an act of breaking or failing to observe a law, agreement, or code of conduct. I hope that helps half of you comment, no one stated it was a legal order, it was a mutual agreement on paper which she signed on and that is acceptable in court and helps my case.
2. I did say , I do not care or wish to control who she can have sex with(Its her choice), The issue comes around that I noted a previous incident where she was locked away having sex and my DD ended up next door(unlocked door/minor walking outside at night). And the certain person who comes brings her drugs which in turn breaks the agreement that she is not to be under drugs or drunk around DD. There is CCTV footage of my door when she walked out and I have it on file as It's my system(its my house)
3. I was talking about Cocaine and Crack rock here, I would not care about weed one bit

Anyway worse has happened last 24 hours beyond what i said and DD is with me and will not be going to her. Solicitor said she would have to go to court and I have mentioned all to the school so i will be at the gates each day before she even gets there.

How on earth do you know she was locked in a room having sex away from her child? And why are you watching CCTV of a property where you no longer live? You also mentioned recordings of your ex. Does she know about this or have you also done those secretly?
Presumably you have been in touch with social services?

The school do not have the legal right to prevent your ex from removing her child from school unless there is a court order stating this.

Edited as I think you made an unfortunate spelling mistake/typo?

I own the house ,they are works being done and I am selling it . She knows I have access to the doorbell etc

Her best friend told me if the sex /locked away thing which ex has finally confirmed happened

Ex knows I have the recordings , text messages etc because her best friend shared them with me as she is also concerned.