Long story but my ex and I have been separated/divorced since DS1 and DS2 were 3 and 1 years old. My ex had an affair then left so I have basically raised them both alone. I subsequently remarried and have another DS, 7. Basically neither of the older 2 are easy. The eldest has ADHD and we've had a lot of issues over the years with school exclusions, no support. DS2 play a huge amount of sport so I spent a lot of time driving him to various fixtures. My ex contributes financially (not a huge amount but an ok/ slightly above what he would have to pay) but otherwise does nothing. On the rare occasions he has offered to help, it's always on his terms, e.g. he can drive DS to a fixture but only on X date at X time. He is also thoroughly unpleasant, critical and obnoxious. Basically a clear case of narcissistic personality disorder. Despite my encouraging them, neither DS want to spend much time with my ex, mainly because they are teenagers but also. because he has done nothing to try to build a relationship with them or to be on their wave length. He expects me or them to do all the hard work. I repeatedly get texts/emails berating me because DSs don't pick up his calls. At the age they are there is not much I can do if they don't want to speak to him or hang out with him. He surfaces every few month saying he wants to be involved but then does nothing to help. I would love the older two to stay with him one night a week mainly so that I can get a break, especially as DS1 is very difficult, doesn't sleep, but they refuse to go. I ask my ex to come and pick them up, he refuses and insist I send them over and they won't go so I get no help and no break. Even worse is the tirade of emails saying he wants to communicate but literally every time he is given a route in then he is unpleasant and tries to blame me for everything including for anything DSs have done, for example, if DS1 is missing school, it's my fault, if DS2 doesn't want to see him, that's my fault. I know from past experience that this person is completely toxic and no good will ever come from communicating with him. I usually have him blocked on my phone but he has started to email. Wondering if I should try to get a restraining order as I just do not want any contact with him for my own sanity.