How would assets be split

[Louchh]

Both early 40s, married 12 years and 2 children (11 and 10). We own a house worth £600k with £100k outstanding and have around £80k in savings.
He earns £70k and I make £23k.
His pension is £320k and mine is £40k.
We live in the south east so it’s hard to find a 3 bedroom house for less than £500k.
Could I stay in the home until the children finish their schooling?

Unlikely I’d expect unless he agrees to it.

i think you’d be looking at near 50:50 with you getting slightly more perhaps due to lower earning. I don’t think it’s simple to say you keep house and him pension either as he’ll not be able to buy. The 320k is not valued 1-1 with equity as it’s not available now

hes not a high earner for the south really so you won’t get spousal

are you working full time ? What would your income be with earnings, uc top up and cms?

I traded pension for assets so it can be agreed

If you agreed then you could, but probably not if not as it would mean he would have much less available assets then you and might not be able to buy somewhere for himself.

Very unlikely you could delay the asset split.

you’d need to buy him out. So get a mortgage to cover “his” half.

His housing needs will be deemed the same as yours on the basis he’ll have the children ( even if eow and half holidays)

even if you got a mesher to defer his share you’re just kicking the can down the road to when kids are 18 and you can’t afford to buy him out and have less time to pay a mortgage

have you spoken to him at all. ?

Working full time but it’s low paid.

Just in anger yesterday during another argument

I know it’s stating the obvious and not as easy as said but do you have any possibility to increase your earnings, get additional skills to allow that? Online courses ? Promotion? More responsibility?

look at what you might get in universal credit too. And cms - would he want 50-50 shared care of the children ?

My friend has just agreed the asset split in her divorce. She isn’t staying in the family home but is taking 75% of the value of the house and then taking on a very small mortgage and a smaller % of his pension.

She is going from a 4 bed detached to a 2 bed semi detached as only one child at home and the other is an adult. That’s the reality of divorce, everyone ends up worse off even in a fair settlement.

Where exactly in the South East ?
Here in Essex it is possible to buy a 3 bed for less than £500,000 , granted it might not be as big as expected or in a prestigious area but it is doable .

There could be a deal on him keeping the pension pot and the savings but you would still need to get a mortgage. That will mean improving your income. The easiest way to do that is to claim benefits. You might get some CmS. None of that is long term income and you face tough choices when benefits and CMS stop.

I think he will need and want more than 80k capital. His situation is the same as yours. He needs a property in the South East and he will need responsible for 2 children. His income means he needs less equity than you but more than 80k.

I think you need to be prepared to get a mortgage if you want to own property and that means a better income of £23k in the SE.

So I was in a similar position. I got a Mesher Order that gave me sole use of the house until youngest child turned 18. XH stayed on the mortgage but I paid it.

When youngest turned 18 we sold and split equity 75/25 in my favour, on the basis I wouldn’t claim on XH pension.

XH rented for a bit then moved in with his next victim in her large house.

Really you need legal advice. Good luck.

Family member has just been through this in family court.

She doesn't work due to a disabled DC, lives on benefits due to DC, has zero savings.

Exh has his own business but hides his real earnings, cash jobs, think building trade.

The court wasn't interested in what happens to her, the fact that shes going to be potentially homeless with a disabled child, house sale will not leave her enough to buy something else, she can't get a mortgage, she actually owned the house before she met the Exh and has been paying the mortgage since he left 6 yrs ago.

It was a straight split 50/50.

She was actually accused in court of financial abuse of her DC as the DC'S PIP etc is used to pay their household bills.

Exh doesn't see DC and gives no respite.

Was told in court that she had to "maximise her earning potential", she replied that dc was disabled and couldn't be left alone, she was told again to "get a job"

I'd base my future plans on a 50/50 split if I were you.

Courts do not like Mesher Orders, they like a clean break

It's unusual now to have a mesher order especially when there are likely to be assets to provide housing.

Starting point is 50% so taking the house equity and savings you could have £290k which would be a sizeable deposit. In addition he may be prepared to give more equity in lieu of his pension. However take a long-term view as you need to have a pension so consider some pension sharing.

What is your job? There will be a requirement for you to maximise your income so look at what might be possible so you can earn enough to secure a mortgage. If you have the children more than 50% you would be entitled to claim CMS so work out what that would be. Some mortgage providers allow you to include this in calculations.

Upshot, look at the worst case scenario, which is 50% and plan on housing options around that. You may be able to agree more through mediation but I would avoid a court battle as costs for those could be £25k each which will just swallow up your joint savings.

Unfortunately women are usually worse off after a divorce however you can rebuild your finances by looking into higher earnings. Luckily your children are older so the opportunity to work will be there and childcare costs are minimal.

I know it feels tough but it's do'able as there is a potential of a large deposit.

There was a court decision in a divorce application (which to be fair was extreme) but became the default for women post divorce. It was referred to as the "get a job" judgement. This is why judges now use this phrase.

A caveat, your personal circumstances may alter 50/50 but it's best to take the worst case scenario.

Of course, if he agrees to a mesher or any alternative that’s one thing.

if he doesn’t that’s a completely different scenario. You need to start talking to him at least to see the initial viewpoint

@Zempy when was this? Divorce precedents changed quite considerably in the last 10 years.

It’s a negotiation. If he wants to keep the pension intact you usually end up getting a higher % of the house asset.
Get some legal advice.