Affair regret. Does he ever think about the life he had before leaving?

[Onmyownwith2]

My husband left me for his affair partner 9 months ago and moved in with her. We did not have a bad marriage but obviously he wasn’t happy enough. I am lead to believe affair was only 3 months but I think longer. I do not think he would have left if I hadn’t have found out. His life is very different to what he had and his access to his children is far less. He has now rented a room in a shared house to avoid her losing her benefits as a single mother. And also I will not let my children near her or her home. Do you ever think men look back at what their life was before? Do they miss it? Do they regret leaving wife and children? Is living in a shared house really what they wanted?

It’s very raw for you. I mean this very gently you need to pull yourself out of that space were you wonder about his feelings and motivations. It is really hard though.

Frankly who cares he has gone and even if he did come back it would never be the same. You need to grieve the life you thought you would have and make new one. Chances are you will be happier eventually. Good luck and take care

I agree with menopants. Don't dwell on this stuff - it's not going to give you anything positive. It's hard not to especially so early on but focus on getting yourself the best deal financially in your divorce. Read up, equip yourself with knowledge. He's not your friend now and if he's like many he will be too busy thinking about how his life was so difficult to assuage the guilt he may feel at times. Men in these situations are very selfish even when it comes to their children.