Spitting on my daughter’s car

[Joliv123]

My partner and I have separated and the house has gone on the market, we are living in the house together with my daughter until the house is sold , I am trying to remain on friendly terms , we are still jointly contributing financially to the bills etc , he does the garden and DIY I do clean the house , do his washing and cook his evening meal , I thought everything was going ok but noticed a big spit mark on my daughters driver side window and checked the CCTV he spat on her car yesterday and also this morning , he blames her for our break up but the reasons are he is a controlling person with different values to me , what should I do ? I have the recordings and haven’t said anything to him yet

Oh my God. You need to totally separate immediately. This can be seen as anti social behaviour. Threaten him to move out or else you will report him to the police. You can't stay living with him, God knows what he will do next

I know it is such disgusting behaviour and I had been doubting myself about the break up but this just shows me what a horrible person he is , I don’t trust him one little bit as he is a lier but very clever and has twisted things before to make me doubt myself , I am going to ask him to leave but I don’t think he will , I’m worried things could escalate

You wash his clothes, tidy up after him and cook his meals?
He does the gardening and DIY. You do realise we're heading into winter now, so the gardening is minimal if anything at all, and certainly not a daily upkeep. Also do you have that many things that need fixing daily?

You are carrying on as his devoted wife, yet you are splitting up.

What are his controlling ways? And what are his different values?

The fact that he is spitting on your daughters car (and continues to do so) is extremely passively aggressive. Surely he knows he will be on camera doing that? It does make me wonder how he would act if confronted about that and also what other spiteful lengths he has and is willing to go to?
He sounds like a ticking time bomb and very dangerous. I couldn't live with that. He needs to leave. Now.

I wanted to be able to remain civil whilst being in the house together until it is sold , I know it’s a tricky market right now and could take a while to sell , I am trying to keep on top of the cleaning and stuff so if we have a viewing the house looks good , so no dirty washing piling up, I know what you are saying that actually his input is going to decrease going into winter , my main worry is how to approach this as I am so annoyed and disgusted by him and I agree he is spiteful so I worry what else he might do or what he had done that I have been unaware off , how do I go about him leaving when he owns half the house ?

That's awful. It's Christmas Day three months' today - can you imagine having to carry on this charade over Christmas dinner, knowing what you know? And it's often a tense time of year for families anyway. He needs to go before then because I just can just see this being a pressure cooker situation sooner rather than later. It's also a tricky time of year to sell a house with the budget coming up, so you can't base your physical separation off of how long it might take to get a buyer and then the whole rigamarole of moving. He's been caught on camera doing something he cannot deny and which is more than enough reason for you to ask him to leave - you may have had an uneasy agreement in terms of division of chores and joint financial contributions, but he's broken that agreement by acting in the way that he has and forfeited his right to stay.

Well he needs to keep jointly contributing to the mortgage if he wants half of the house when it is sold, but it doesn't mean he has to live there. If he cannot afford to both move out and continue contributing at the same rate, then you could consider a reduced financial contribution that is then reflected in what he receives when the house sells. Best to get some legal advice on how that could be managed.

Thanks yes that is good advice , I will seek some advice on this , but I am going to confront him about this and ask him to leave as his behaviour is not acceptable

I felt quite shocked at this OP. Spitting is disgusting but to do it at your daughters car is unbelievable.
As part of the ongoing problems I have with the local youths and children I was spat at by one of the young guys. And it really amazed me how seriously the police took spitting. They seemed pretty powerless to do anything about a lot of the behaviour that I experienced but as soon as they saw my security footage of him spitting they immediately said they could charge him with that.
Yes I think you are right to ask him to leave OP because that is unacceptable behaviour.