Can I get the decree absolut without dealing with the financial stuff?

[Confused78]

I'm really confused. So for context I'm in Northern Ireland and have been separated 5 years, so i'm planning to file for divorce on these grounds. I really don't want to be married to him anymore but what has put me off is having to talk about the whole financial thing with him.
Our situation is complex.
Can I get divorced without having to agree the financial stuff? I can't face dealing with all that right now but I would like to be divorced from him in principal.
Apparently you can do this and get the decree absolute and that means you're divorced on paper but I would still have claim over his assets after this and could still come to a financial agreement at some point down the line. Is this right?
Basically what's stopping me from getting divorced now is that I thought we had to agree on financials first as I assumed after I'm divorced that I am not entitled to his assets as I'm technically divorced.
It's so confusing. Can someone explain this to me like I'm 5?

You can finalise the divorce now but you’ll still be tied to him financially. Why would you want that? He could come after your house, pensions, savings, assets, inheritance/lottery wins at any point in the future.

I think you would have to have all that sorted surely? It’s something the judge looks at when granting the divorce. If you can’t come to an agreement the court will do it for you

I think that yes you can divorce without a financial settlement.
Why not phone a few solicitors and ask for a 30minute meeting free of charge, for legal advice? Many firms will do this. “Sprat to catch a mackerel!”
Knowledge is power.

I did this but there were no complicated financials at the time. Further down the line we’re now having to fanny about with trusts and all kinds of nonsense because I didn’t get the bloody bit of paper and I don’t want him realising now.

Get the bit of paper.

Just completing a divorce in NI here. You can but as my solicitor advised me when we first separated 8 years ago, why bother? A decree absolute will not stop any abuse or bad feeling and will cost you money. You may as well do it right. I waited 8 years as I had to get myself into a good financial place to be able to buy him out of the family home.
Unless you NEED to be divorced ie new marriage or baby, just wait and do it properly, in NI, you will most likely need a solicitor to guide you through the court hearings etc anyway, so take their advice.
Good luck, i know how you are feeling.

Yes, unfortunately. I received my decree absolute and exH has since refused to sign any financial documentation because 'it's not needed'. I earn more than him, and have more capital, I'm just waiting for him to try and take some more of it by suddenly deciding to take it back through the courts.

Yes you can do that but there are lots of reasons why you shouldn’t. After all, why do so many people go through the pain of settling finances if they could avoid it.

A lot of people reference the lottery example. Which is never event that did happen. A man who won the lottery had to give half to his ex wife.

The not never event is the issue of inheritance. Your estate planning is up in the air if someone has a claim on your assets and in the absence of a will could default to them as the next of kin. Leaving your dependents in at least a mess and potentially left with nothing.

Either of you can remarry but in doing so you forfeit the claim you would have had on the marital assets.

Anything can happen to change his circumstances or your circumstances which materially impact on needs cases. He could develope a health condition or run up debt that has implications for the marital assets.