Separated, living together and kids aware.

[CleverOpalBalonz]

Please can you share your experiences of this? Our kids are 13 & 11. We haven’t told them yet that we’re separating. We’re trying to figure out logistics first but do we tell them when husband is going to move out? Do we tell them soon but carry on living together, separately for a few months or even longer whilst we sort things? How did your children cope with this if they knew?

We have a spare room one of us will move into so it will be obvious what is going on when we do move in there. Currently we are living quite separately, doing things individually with the children rather than altogether as we used to. We only speak when the children are there or about the children then we’re in separate spaces. I feel like I want it out in the open but don’t want it to be too confusing to the children when we then continue living together.

I’m in the middle of this; it’s actually ok but I am very ready to move on now! I am a bit sick of sitting in my room like a student in halls though.

Edited to say it never crossed my mind to split chores and days with the kids and shelves of the fridge! I guess it depends on how amicable you are though. We are basically flatmates with very little bickering or anything so everything will be much the same as normal until moving day.

We have very little bickering and spend very little time together but it’s the expectation on me to do everything. I haven’t done any cleaning this weekend as I was out with the kids all day yesterday and needed a rest today. He hasn’t done a thing. He hasn’t done any cleaning in months. I do plan to do it tomorrow as I’m not working but he doesn’t know that.

Hes just getting such an easy ride whilst I sort the kids, sort the house, sort the meals, sort the finances and sort the divorce. He just benefits from it all and it’s annoying.

It feels like it’s all on me not to react to keep things amicable.