I’m so tired of everything being a battle

[lonelypolarbear]

Hello everyone, I think I just need to vent to others going through similar issues.

Separated from my husband about 8 years ago, thought we were amicable, turns out I was but he was trying to poison our children against me and exposing them to drugs etc, had to drag it through court to get a child arrangement order so they live with me. DS still wanted to see his dad so was round there every other weekend and one night during the week, but DD hasn’t wanted anything to do with him since last summer due to his behaviour towards her.

recently I’ve had to make the decision to break the child arrangement order due to finding out he was growing drugs in the room next to DS, and I’ve got to be the one to take it back to court as I’ve broken the order. I’m still £1000’s in debt to the solicitors from having to go to court last time to keep them safe, and here we go again. Plus I’m exhausted, mentally and physically as I’m parenting alone and having to deal with his crap parenting. On top of this I’m trying to sort our divorce, he’s ignoring everything so if I want it to move forward then again, I’ve got to take him to court.

I’ve had enough, all this money and energy I should be putting into our children and my life and I feel like I’m swimming against the tide constantly and I’m exhausted 😢😢😢

No advice here, just empathising. Co parenting with a problem personality is exhausting beyond description, crazy making, expensive, draining etc etc. I'm sorry you're going through this and I know the exhaustion. Hang in there, your kids will thank you one day for advocating for their safety and wellbeing.

More empathy here - so feel for you. You’re going the right thing and to end up so much in debt for protecting your children is really unjust. If you couldn’t afford it then they’d just be put at risk? There needs to be better support for mums in this situation and the dads need to be held responsible.

It's exhausting, I feel for you. The constant battle is emotionally draining, constant fight or flight which means where our attention should be solely on our children, a good chunk is wasted on that waste of space ex.
The financial burden is awful. I'm still paying off my first court battle, but know I have to go back to court for the house and he will take me back to court to get more time because he doesn't want CMS.
Living in this constant state is not fair, not okay, and unless you are living it no one can actually understand. It's far more.madness being in it than you can ever explain.
Wishing you all the luck!

It’s maddening that I have to bear the cost because he can’t behave himself, as a responsible parent looking after their child, the court should be able to pass the costs on to the nightmare parent for causing the chaos.

@BookArt55 I'm so sorry you’re going through this also, it’s horrific isn’t it. Even my partner doesn’t really get it, the insomnia, the anxiety, the exhaustion - everything. The only plus point is they are in their teens, if they were only like 4 & 6 this would be worse knowing there’s so much longer to go.

My heart bleeds for anyone in this situation, whether they’re a mum or dad or grandparent ❤️