Open Financial Statement

[Popandhop]

Really struggling to fill this form in.

Seperated, going through mediation neither of us has filed for divorce YET.

He left, he didnt want to work on things, said nothing will change his mind but didnt want to divorce, strange I know 🤷🏻‍♀️I think he is just reluctant to pay the costs. But this conversation was when he was leaving and everything was so raw, questioning seperation and not divorce was not at the front of my mind, especially as I didnt want us to end.

Now on the other hand I do want a divorce, as we have no chance of getting back together. I have no interest in staying married. I was hoping to bring this up in mediation rather then just serving him with papers in order to keep things as amicable as possible. I worry if I just drop it on him his emotions will be high and he might act on impulse.

However to book next session I need to fill out the financial statement, which wants pension CETV and looking on the gov website at filling in the form to get state pension CETV you need the date divorce proceedings started and obviously that hasn't happened yet.

Also struggling with my estimated costs for clothes ect.. like how do you estimate that ive tried going through bank statements but you cant decipher which tesco purchases are clothes vs groceries and I never kept receipts.

Things like how much I spend on health and beauty, well I just buy that stuff on my regular grocery shop. I dont want to under estimate and I dont want to over estimate but I literally have no idea.

Honestly in my opinion that’s stuff doesn’t count. You can’t sell say you spends hundreds on haircuts and clothes etc now but the split will still come down to

what assets there are
how old you both are
how much you both earn - and both will be expected to maximise that

Hi, this may not be very helpful but in contrast to the last poster in my case it very much did count. It took weeks of work to estimate this all correctly, it's so stressful and I really feel for you. But do try to get it as accurate as possible, and err on the side of over estimating. You need to think about it not in terms of what your current spending is, but what you actually need to live on now and in the future (e.g. will your mortgage payments be more if you have to move property). It's particularly important if you have children - think about the increased costs of childcare if your ex chooses not to see them, or school uniforms when they go to secondary, and replacing tech, etc. Finances in divorce in England are based on need, not amount. There is no expectation of a fair split of income, it is purely about proving how much you need each month. I'm in a situation where the settlement leaves me with less per month than I need because my ex is using the figure I wrote down on the form 18 months ago, which doesn't account for my increased housing costs. He meanwhile has successfully argued that he needs more per month to live on even though I am the sole carer for our daughter. It's infuriating.

Tldr: overestimate, especially around the costs of any children, and make sure the total figure is one that you could actually live on if this was used as the basis of the settlement.

My point is- both parties will be worse off and one won’t have to lose assets or income due to the others current spending. The majority will be split on the big ticket items , not whether you need to sodnd £50 a month on haircuts. If the money isn’t there you’ll both need to cut your expense

Agree with previous posters. Big ticket items are what counts - pensions, assets like savings and houses. That said, I’ve learnt is that there is a huge rush to spend all the money you can possibly spend before the asset division.

Thank you all for your replies 🙏 gonna sit down at the weekend and troll through bank statements and create a budget list for going forward.

The key things that will determine a settlement are

lentgh of marr
earnings and potential ft income
ages
ages of children
housing needs of both parties

assets available

so you can put that you need a budget of 2k or 3k or whatever on clothes, food, hair, holidays, gifts, whatever but it will come down to the above and what assets there are

do you know your marital assets and earnings ?

Marital assets, nothing exceeds £500 except his car, the house we only brought 3 months before he left so negative capital if we sell as havent made many mortgage payments and after estate agent fees conveyancing ect ...

Earnings well he was the higher earner which is what all my legal advice was based on but he got sacked not long after walking out.

What are you hoping to achieve as a settlement? if there are no assets other than pension ? And he’s not currently working ?

re the house can you take on the full mortgage and bills to Release him from the mortgages? If not you need to sell it, accept the loss and move on .

this is what I say re listing monthly expenses. If the rent aren’t assets it won’t affect your outcome. Do you have children ?

@millymollymoomoo
Yes two children but they are teens 15 and 14 so ideally all I want is to be able to keep the house until youngest is 18.

However although I can afford all the bills and the mortgage bank wont give me a sole mortgage which is frustrating so relying on him agreeing to stay as a joint owner on the mortgage until then.

Which would work in his favour as I will be paying all the bills on it and in 4 years time should actually have equity in it for him to benefit without him having to pay.

Unfortunately I think he is going to try and make things as difficult as possible.