Help desperately needed with children

[MissieM00]

My partner has recently walked out to be with the women he’s been having an affair with. We have 4 children aged between 1-14 years we were together over 20 years. He seems to think it’s suitable that he comes back here Friday till Monday morning to have the children. As he has nowhere to take them. He’s staying between the other women/new girlfriend and family’s house. I’m really unsure what I should do? I don’t feel it’s right he’s walked out on us but then excepts to be here weekends like having the best of both worlds. But then I feel guilty for my children. But unsure if I’m thinking like that because of the hurt he’s caused? Can any give me any advice please? How what would be a suitable arrangement? Thanks

Sorry you’re in this situation. That doesn’t sound reasonable at all, where is he expecting you to go when he’s staying at the house?

Where do you stay when he is at yours?

No. He CHOSE to leave.
All weekend every weekend is not on.

He has left, he needs to find somewhere suitable.

It's not fair on the children to have Daddy living at home at weekends.

he has either left or he hasn't left.

I will still be in the home. He expects to stay on the sofa. I just don’t feel this is right I’m obviously very hurt and not sure how I’m supposed to move on or continue with this kind of arrangement?

Nope

he can have the eow and take them
elsewhere

the teens , likely they’ll chose not to go

Exactly this.

Is the house in both names? If so, legally not sure that you can ban one person from the house, so best to do financial settlement asap to get it sorted? Maybe ask over in Legal.

It sounds awful. I am wondering if you say no he’ll say the house has to be sold then?

He expects you to stay on the sofa? I’m actually gobsmacked! He’s living his best life isn’t he! If he’s left, he’s left. He’s cocklodging with this other woman during the week then expects to play Superdad on the weekend.

Do you rent or own? If you own, can you afford to buy him out? He doesn’t get to have the best of both worlds.

Seek legal advice and get the ball moving.
Legally, he has moved out and continuing to return when you have said no (make sure it is in writing that you say no), could be framed as harrassment. My experience is, myself and ex jointly owned the house. With us there was DA, so I moved out with the kids as I had no choice. I haven't been allowed to enter the house for 18months as ex had his solicitor at the time write a letter saying I was harrassing him and making him feel unsafe in his home (I'd been there once with agreement inwriting from him to collect my belongings).
My solicitor explained that technically I was now a landlord. So I would have to give warning i would be attending, but as he was raising the harrassment claim is just steer clear.
I would put it in writing that you do not agree to his proposal and that he can take the kids out of the house EOW. If he can't accommodate having then overnight ye can collect them again on the Sunday. Set pick up times and drop off times.
Oh, and my ex changed the locks and there hasn't been much I can do about that.
Seek legal advice and get a plan in place. But definitely do not agree to this, you don't want to set a precedent.