Breakdown of divorce process

[Welcomeking]

Looking for advice and I guess I'm looking for a calm, straightforward divorce (does such a thing exist - please be kind here). Have sought legal advice and paid for an initial first hour. Can someone please break down for me what I need to do/steps to take so I can avoid unnecessary legal fees. Financially we have property and a small mortgage remaining. 1 DD age 16 so wanting to do this process slowly whilst DD goes through their GCSEs. I have looked at Amicable and it seems straightforward but a few options to chose from. A few questions to ask please from you lovely lot

• Is the first step to file for divorce on the Gov website or is this done via Amicable if we choose that route?
• Can I just use a solicitor for the financial consent order?

-: How long does it all take on average for straightforward divorces? Ours should be I hope amicable

• At what point do I start looking for my own property as I will unfortunately not be able to afford to stay in the family home?

I am very much a planner and a lot of this may be out of my hands but I'd like to be a bit prepared. At the moment we are both in the family home and I want to start preparing so myself and DD will be in the best position we can be.

Do you both want/need to do full financial disclosure?

@Beachlovingirl yes, we will want/need to.

I have a very amiable divorce ongoing at the moment. Our process has looked like this:
Separation decided and liquid finances split. Provisional agreement on equity (50:50) and not touching pensions (CETV dependent)
3 months later I decided to buy him out (we were living together at the time
5 months later he moved out, I completed my purchase of our house and he completed his purchase of new house
around this time I filed for divorce with his full knowledge and he paid half.
conditional order granted
we are currently completing D81 form together. We won’t do a full financial disclosure- we know each others finances and have seen each others CETVs.
solicitor will draw up financial consent order and that will be submitted when we request final order for divorce.
In all of this we will only pay for the divorce itself (£600), the consent order (a few hundred) and conveyancing fees. I have no intention of involving solicitors more than absolutely necessary.

Don't know about the divorce process but will you have to sell the property and split the proceeds and then apply for a mortgage? Think that's going to be a joint decision regarding timing between you and your ex as he'll have to agree to sell the house too. Plus you'll either have to find out if a mortgage is possible for you or look at renting which usually involves a huge deposit. Sorry if this sounds obvious but sometimes it's hard to think straight when you're going through things like this.

Thank you both @Bananapeargrape and @ExperiencedTeacher.

@Bananapeargrape I am not sure. I can afford thr mortgage etc but would not be able to buy him out as well I don't think, at least not looking at the figures I've done. I'm hoping with at least a 50:50 split on the equity I can get a small mortgage, add it to the equity and be paid it off by retirement age! It will, your right, have to be a joint decision. I would be expecting to do a CETV on pensions. He has s much larger pension and mine is minimal due to child care/maternity leave etc and working part time.

I definitely don't want to rent, I live on the outskirts of London and my salary will not cover rent.

You’re problem might be you can’t afford to take on the full mortgage and buy him out - unless there is parenting to offset that and he agrees to not have equity now ….

you may find it becomes less amicable once you go full disclosure and if there is any disagreement on how to split monies

we didn’t do disclosure but knew what There was and both worked etc. so we kitchen pensions and simply split house 50:50 and we’d paid pretty much that proportion anyway near enough

No @millymollymoomoo I won't be able to afford mortgage and buy him out.

It is possible as you say once it goes to full disclosure it is less amicable, will have to see. We both work FT and I have always worked, however, as it was agreed that I would work PT when DD was younger I am not quite sure why I should lose out, that said DD is definitely worth but I am just thinking of me in my later years!

If you can’t afford to pay out his share and take on the full mortgage it’s likely you’ll have to sell- unless

hes a very high earner
he agrees to defer his share ( how long for? And where does he live in the interim?)
you can offset all/part against pension

this is where amicability may come undone.

I had a very amicable divorce, we did it ourselves online and just used a solicitor (online in Wales - miles from us - because she was heaps cheaper than what my usual solicitor charges for the financial order) it was done in 6 months start to finish as there’s a 20 week cooling off period you have to wait to pass before proceeding on to the final section. I think it was £600 just over to do it online ourselves - gov.uk then £300 for the financial order. We sold the house prior to getting divorced and split the proceeds as we agreed 60/40. I was a stay at home mum back then but took none of my husband’s pension as I had the higher split of the proceeds of sale from the house. The judge didn’t question this on the financial order so it all went through quickly.

Goodness @Meadowflower2023 , what a relief that must have been for you, sounds a very smooth process.

In fairness we haven't yet had the talk so this is all assumptions. I have no idea how it will go but millymollymoomoo he may want to stay in the house himself.