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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I left today

6 replies

Magenta82 · 16/09/2025 21:05

DP has PTSD from the army, but I think there are probably more mental health issues as well. He is starting a new type of therapy through a forces charity this week but I can't deal with it any more.

He goes on temper tantrums and random rants and today's was awful and in front of DD4. She asked me why he said some of the thing he did and I just broke. I packed a bag and took her to a friend's, we are staying here for a bit to give him a chance to find a place to move to.

It fucking sucks, I know it's for the best but I'm sad and gutted and keep bursting into tears. I love him but his behaviour is not ok. When I was leaving he seemed so sad and asked if I was really leaving because he has mental health problems. I tried to explain it is the behaviour, but he sees them as the same.

OP posts:
Anna1mac · 16/09/2025 21:11

He needs help. You cannot stay in a relationship like that, it'll make you ill. It will also hurt your daughter. Perhaps after he's been going to his therapy sessions for a while and there's a notable difference, you could try again? I wish you best of luck.

Magenta82 · 16/09/2025 21:23

Its been a long time coming, he has been getting worse and the last month has been bad.

A few weeks ago I told him he needed to calm down, help more around the house but most of all stop shouting in front of DD. He has been making an effort and I don't even think today's was the worst but it was basically the last straw.

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Springadorable · 16/09/2025 21:35

You did the right thing. Ill or not, his behaviour is incredibly damaging to your daughter and she is the ultimate priority. Well done.

Magenta82 · 17/09/2025 08:26

He phoned this morning, he said he thinks it is for the best, he is unstable and shouldn't be living with a child right now. His own parents shouted a lot and he doesn't want the same for her.

He is looking for a flat and hopes the peace and quiet of living alone plus the new therapy will help him get better.

I'm really sad because I am making him leave because of his mental health which feels awful but I know I have to focus on DD.

OP posts:
Beachlovingirl · 17/09/2025 17:39

You did the right thing.

Magenta82 · 17/09/2025 18:39

My brother just had a go at me about leaving the house when I own it. I'll move back when my ex leaves but for now getting DD away was more important. I have local friends I can stay with he doesn't because he moved to be with me during covid.

I really didn't need raised voices from DB.

When I pointed that out he told me he was "trying to be supportive" I'm not sure how telling me off does that.

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