I'm terrified..what would you do :/

[Adultingishard4]

Signed up in secret...nowhere to turn...
Been married about 14 years and I'm not even 40 yet. Short version is we have two children older primary age. I had savings, career etc when we met...now it's all gone. Years of his debts, credit cards, gaming obsession (i dont mean he likes a lil xbox i mean 10000s of gaming crap)
I've asked for a divorce about 9 times over the years. He says- "Dont like it? Bye then. My house my kids."
Recently I realised I'm getting older and will one day be too afraid to call it a day. For the final time I said I really mean it now...its over.
He says - "You don't like it? Bye then. My house. my kids."
We both work, the house is a council rental in BOTH our names. I appreciate people would say I've been a total wimp.. but truth is I'm utterly terrified of him. To the world he is super dad... when we're not in public...its been years of me doing everything..his debts...kids...work.. he has never lifted a finger at home and loves his gaming devices.
If you met him- you'd be convinced within minutes that he's dad of the year.
I know this post might seem pathetic, truth is I'm so scared.
He's clever and careful, and I'm so scared I don't know how to escape. My biggest fear is- he convinces my children that 'daddy is way more fun than mummy' and I lose my children.
I can't begin to explain how he can bend everything to look like a hero. I'm frightened and I don't want to be homeless or lose my children. Please please no lectures, I'm scared and desperate for help x x xplz x x x x

Its not pathetic, your feelings are valid. You do have options, you can go via womens aid who will help you leave with the kids. Or you can report his abusive behaviour (can do this with womans aid support too) and take the steps to remove him from the tenancy. Its a good thing its in joint names tbh rather than just his.

I reported mine after 12 years. He was arrested, charged and bailed with conditions not to contact me or come near the family home. its never too late to change yours and the children's futures x

you have to do this and fear is a significant thing.
go to women’s aid. They offer free legal clinics.

the kids are smarter than that. At first they will think it’s way more fun with dad but when they want to do things other than watch him game then things will go wrong. They want to go out and do stuff, they want clean clothes, they are bored they need attention. They jump infront of the screen and he shouts at them.