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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Leaving family home

4 replies

AmIlosingitorwhat · 13/09/2025 13:12

Separating after 15 years and 2 kids, I will be the one leaving the family home and I'm worried that my 2 DC will feel that they're only 'visiting' me rather than 'I'm their home' (as background, family home was originally his and was also an area of contention in our relationship as I wanted to sell and move but ex was never proactive in making that happen.)

Ex wants 50:50 custody which I think I'll have to accept due to work schedules and I also don't want to make things messy (I was a child of a messy divorce and I want to avoid that at all costs).

Any mums out there who've managed to make a home for their kids in these kind of circumstances?

OP posts:
Mumoftwojune · 13/09/2025 14:20

No experience to draw from I’m afraid but I do believe that home is a feeling and not a place. You as their Mum will always feel like home to them, no matter where you are physically ❤️

Dillydallydonut · 13/09/2025 14:32

Yes I did and it was the best thing for them and me. They stay with father alternate weekends at old family home and it’s fine. Our home is our home because it’s where we are and they’ve enjoyed choosing it and furnishing it. Fresh start and I have no regrets ever.

Sashya · 13/09/2025 17:57

How old are the children and how are they feeling about the separation and "new home" situation?
It does happen sometimes, especially with teenagers that they are more attached to their original home and the "other" home does not feel like home. Sometimes they refuse to go, probably as a coping mechanism for dealing with the breakup of the family. Also 50/50 can be hard on kids as their life/routines are disrupted and it can be especially hard for teens as their friendships mean so much to them, and a move can affect how often they see friends.

There is a way to mitigate it all - involve the kids in planning their new rooms - ask them what they'd want to have there, try as much as you can to get the décor/furnishings that they'll like. Try to bring some familiar items from the original home, etc.

And, especially - try to keep your co-parenting as amicable as possible. Parental conflict is very hard on the kids.

Mum565 · 22/09/2025 12:23

Dillydallydonut · 13/09/2025 14:32

Yes I did and it was the best thing for them and me. They stay with father alternate weekends at old family home and it’s fine. Our home is our home because it’s where we are and they’ve enjoyed choosing it and furnishing it. Fresh start and I have no regrets ever.

Hi can I ask you something please

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