looking for advice or for someone who is in a similar situation.
I found out 2 years ago my husband was sexting a colleague from his work. Apparently nothing physical happened. He was devastated I found out as obviously was I. Our marriage had been on the rocks for a little while before that.
I struggled through and we tried for a year to make things work. I couldnt look at him the same way and I chose to rent my own house a year ago to have some space and clarity. He was fine to begin with then after one month started becoming emotional abusive towards me. He then started threatening me via text and voicemails and turned up at my house several times. He physically intimidated me several times- one of these times I was genuinely scared he was going to hurt me.
I don’t really know how (and I realise I am probably a coward for this) but I have ended up pretty much moving back into the family home. Mainly to keep the peace and because I think there is a definite trauma bond there which I’m beginning to recognise. I still have my house that I rent however I am never there.
I know I’m not happy and neither is he but I just can’t seem to let go. I worry for more upheaval for my children (8 + 5) and that I know it is my fault for not being strong enough to stick to my boundaries. I feel I’ve made my bed I need to lie in it.
I just feel I’m at rock bottom right now and that want to be happy and for my children to be happy and not hate me for splitting up our family again.
any advice would be massively appreciated. I’m struggling ðŸ˜