Thinking of divorcing - what do I need to know?

[divorcingsoon]

Hi all

I think we’re close to the end of the road but not yet ready to call it quits.

I’m hopeful we might still be able to save it but I want to make sure I’m ready if the time comes to move forward.

I’m confident we will be able to sort things amicably and together (as far as that is possible), and so with that in mind it would be really useful to hear about the sort of people others have spoken to in a similar situation. Obviously I will speak to a family lawyer but has anyone come across other useful services like divorce coaches, divorce guidance websites and apps, couples therapists etc.

We both work in tech so if anyone can suggest particularly innovative approaches I suspect they may go down well.

thanks!

Wikivorce was helpful 15 yrs ago....no idea what it's like now but I had a DIY divorce saving thousands which was legally sound . You and husband need to be able to agree on finances but if you can, then it is a good option. The gov.uk website also walks you through it I believe.

I did my own LPOA as have many....some people will insist on involving a solicitor. You really don't need one....my point to this irrelevant issue, is that a solicitor is essential if conflict, complex etc but for a straightforward divorce where you can agree things it's easy and nicer to steer it yourself BUT not everyone wishes to do that. If you are the latter just make an appointment to see a solicitor and pay for their service

Just bumping this up as sadly it looks like we’ve hit the end of the road. I’m ok but need to start thinking seriously about next steps.

Any suggestions on ways that we can resolve this without spending thousands on lawyers would be gratefully received.

The main things to understand are

your assets inc pensions
Housing children if you have them and childcare arrangements
earnings /incomes of both parties

if you have those you can Start to think and discuss what needs both parties have, what size the pot is and how to split it

if you’re able to discuss and agree it’s possible to do it with minimal legal input and costs

there is loads of info online about divorce process and fair division principles

So much depends on

• your assets (there is no ‘his’ and ‘mine’ in divorce; include house equity, pensions, savings etc
• children
• your relative income potentials

Gather the info and find a good mediator. Expect that there will be some sticking points, if you can predict those all the better

You don’t need to spend lots ok lawyers if your assets are easy to define and split.
And if you can agree on child arrangements (if you have kids) going forward.

How do you see the financial split working? Can you both re-house?
Do you have kids - how do you see splitting their time/expenses going forward?

Put all your details into 3 AI systems and compare the differences, e.g. for likely asset split, whether counselling needed, etc.

This is such a good idea. Do you think it would work? I just wish someone objective was able to tell us a sensible starting point rather than saying it depends!

Thanks everyone else for the helpful replies.

Useful resources:

• Wikivorce
• Divorce for Dummies
• family solicitor websites

Gather all financial documentation - including pensions, which can be very valuable -and see a competent family solicitor.

Be prepared for it to take ages. We’re nearly through, mostly amicable, agreed everything ages ago and it’s taken 10 months so far. Do t try and buy a house before your final divorce order comes back from the court - it’s not “the way it’s done” and hugely confuses things. Good luck you’ve got this x