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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Feel trapped

2 replies

megachocs7 · 09/09/2025 18:06

i have recently split from my partner. We have a mortgage on our house and he pays most of the bills. We have a two year old daughter and I have a son from previous relationship.

I split with him because I was very unhappy, he was lazy, he didn’t want to ever do anything or plan anything as a family. He also showed resentment to my son which made me lose all respect for him.

Now we have split he has turned nasty. He has both parents and i dont have any support. His parents have a large house with multiple spare rooms. I have nowhere to go. I have to wait until the house is sold before I can even put my name on list for council and if I were to leave I’d be making myself homeless and couldn’t claim UC with a mortgage obviously. He wont put the house on the market until it’s ready to sell which could be months.

i am struggling to live off my wage. I work 4 days a week and all my money is used for the kids and my bills such as phone and car. I feel trapped I have £100 to last until the end of the month whereas he has at least 10k in his bank, he moved it all from the joint account.

has anyone applied for UC in the situation!l? It says online I can but have to prove we are separated but still living together. We were ever married because I kept putting off marriage as I was not happy and wanted to leave but knew it would be so difficult.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 09/09/2025 18:33

and couldn’t claim UC with a mortgage obviously
You can claim UC with a mortgage, you just can't have the housing part. So you can claim for basic UC and childcare costs (and this opens other doors such as free prescriptions etc).

He wont put the house on the market until it’s ready to sell which could be months.
You can obtain a court order forcing the sale. It costs time and money but some people don't realise a judge could make all the decisions instead. Once they know they stop messing about, but some twats do dig their heels in further. You know him better than us - would he put the house up for sale sooner if he knew a judge could force him?

Get an appointment with Citizens Advice or a solicitor to find out your rights. It might feel hard now, and for the next few months, but keep visualising your peaceful and happy future away from him. Good luck!

Edit - saw you have a joint child. Put in a CMS claim ASAP.

megachocs7 · 09/09/2025 19:25

Thank you for your advice. It’s so difficult when I have no one to talk to in real life. I will apply for UC straight away

OP posts:
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