Saturday Nights

[SilverLinings123]

Folks - looking for a bit of advice and moral support here. I’m at the start of the separation journey and after a decent run of keeping myself busy over the weekends it looks like I may have run out of friends, family and children to keep me occupied this Saturday night. Frankly, I’m dreading it. I’m a big people person so the thought of being on my lonesome does not fill me with joy. I know that I probably have to get my head into the space of not feeling so needful of human interaction to stay sane; that’s probably the real thing I need to get my head around as I can’t simply use social contact as a crutch forever.

How has everyone else managed to get through it?

Aw I totally get you. Would you feel comfortable taking yourself to the cinema? Or if not get all your favourite snacks in, nice bottle of wine or whatever your tipple is and find a good film/series to watch. It’s not bad once you get over the fear of being alone. I had a lovely day today in my own company, went for an autumnal walk in a park, sat on the bench in the sun listening to a singer and even had a glass of white wine in a cafe/wine bar. It was actually empowering and I did see plenty of other people out walking/sitting in the park on their own. It is hard to start with though so be gentle with yourself x

What about spending the time doing something nice for someone else even though you are on your own. For example, make some brownies for a friend or something similar. That might help you feel connected to others, even though they aren’t there. Takes the focus off the fact you are alone that night?

A different perspective here but I go to the 24 hour gym and feel great by the time I get home!

I try and find something good to watch on TV, that i keep for time alone so I can look forward to it. I also try to make my days feel productive so that by the time the evening comes im tired enough so just want to sit and relax.

Its difficult feeling like you are almost being forced to have time alone, so planning something nice in for yourself might help frame it a bit differently.

I'm not good being on my own but it honestly has got better with practice.
If no friends are around Saturday night is there anyone you could have a coffee with in the daytime? I find I'm ok if I've seen someone at some point over the weekend.

But if not just try to relish it and being comfortable in your own company is something you can develop with practice.

I totally get you. For me Saturday nights are full of memories of what I used to do with my husband and children, takeaways, a movie and family time. I will now have every other Saturday alone after work and I’m not looking forward to it but I plan to cook some nice food, have a long bath or shower, fresh PJs and watch a film or favourite show under the duvet. I may also ring someone or video call my children. Possibly some nights I will see a friend too. The weekends feel much harder alone. Sending solidarity x

Like others mentioned...do something Saturday afternoon, plan a walk etc with friend on Sunday. Get your favourite food in or choose a new recipe to make. Pick a new book to read. Buy a magazine. Paint whilst listening to music.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, suggestions and support. It’s really helped to make myself feel better and more confident about flying solo.

As luck would have it I have a found myself a pal for tomorrow night, someone who I haven’t seen for a long time and was able to arrange a Saturday night out with at short notice which to be frank would’ve been impossible before. I suppose you could say its one of the upsides of separation.

On the flipside, I am on my lonesome tonight with my DS out with his mates so I’ll be taking your advice by getting some decent food down my neck (when I say decent, I don’t necessarily mean haute cuisine!), catching up with my ever-growing streaming playlist, and trying to relax with a nice bath after a run earlier. Mind you, Friday nights don’t seem to be such a hoodoo for me, after a busy week I’m more than happy to collapse in a heap and not have to talk to anyone!

For future Saturday nights how about joining meet up? Our local group organises all sorts - meals, nights out to see bands locally etc