Can't handle the nastiness

[BungalowsRock]

Just that really. 5 weeks in to separating. I ended it with hubby. He knew it was likely though. He's not reacted well. Has turned nasty in the last 2 to 3 weeks, being dismissive about me infront of the kids (age 9 and 12), wanting exclusive access of the family home we are sharing, listening in to conversations I have with our 9 yr old daughter then accusing me afterwards of being divisive and wagging his finger in my face.

I guess I've turned his life upside down and he's angry 😠. But I did end it cos of his behaviour in the run up to separating putting up with many years of emotional abuse, lack of commitment and lack of intimacy. It hadn't felt like a marriage.

I just wanted some moral support really/ someone to say this is normal at start of divorce process?

It is normal in my situation. The dismissiveness, mine makes snidey comments in a baby voice like “mummy was naughty today wasn’t she because she said you could play with your slime when I had said no already”

mine also thinks he’s the victim in all this when he was a crap husband and a crap father. He has started up put on an act of being interested in the children lately.

one main thing to take away is you don’t have to engage with him at all. Emotional abusers need this engagement to feed how they abuse but without it you’ll find they’re very flat - and nasty.

Is there a plan to not live together soon? I think that needs to happen ASAP as possible for everyone's sake.
Grey rock/yellow rock, BIFF- Google these terms they will help.
Gp- get referred to therapy, you need to work through all of this.
Inform the schools if you haven't already so they can support the kids. Some offer counselling so consider signing your kids up as they are working through a lot too.
Sorry you're going through this. I did about 5 weeks with my ex and the kids, we ended up leaving a couple of days earlier as his behaviour just continued to escalate. Maybe consider having an emergency bag with important documents, clothing, special memory things and leave it at a friend's or family members so peace of mind.