Ex buying me out, it’s been weeks and nothing

[ralsta]

long story short we split in January, i moved out at the start of august. i couldn’t pass affordability for the house due to self employed/not working a massive amount as im the primary caregiver for our kids. he said at the start of august that he’d like to buy me out, so we took the house off the market. i’ve been asking every week since for an update and it isn’t getting anywhere. he says he’s ’waiting for figures’ all the time. but i know from experience it takes days to get figures from an advisor, not weeks. where do i stand with this? i am paying for rented accommodation so it would be very nice to have my money to get the kids bedrooms kitted out, and to be honest for mental clarity i’d just like to be off the mortgage asap. i know he’s been having ‘friends’ over who are female and it just feels a tad disrespectful…

what do i do?

EDIT - not married so not getting divorced just seperated

Do you own the house as joint tenants / tenants in common?

I’m in the process of being bought out by my husband at the moment. I moved out last October and have been renting since.

We eventually agreed a value based on three estate agent valuations…have you got a valuation to know what you’ll get?

I have now arranged a conveyancing solicitor to do the transfer of equity transaction. This will put the property into his name. In the meanwhile he is arranging a mortgage. Then we will ‘complete’ the transaction when the legal stuff (land registry checks etc) is done and he will have to hand over the agreed amount. He has got a mortgage in principle so I know he can afford it and will get finance.

We own outright and I was advised that it is a lot more complicated to do get a mortgage with my name still legally attached to the property as you need to then ask permission from the lender for the transfer (even if the mortgage is only in one name) hence doing it this way around.

If you have a mortgage already on the property then you need to get permission from the current lender for the transfer (ridiculous I know!).

I started this process without needing anything from my husband - they’ve asked me if he has a solicitor to deal with his side and I said I doubt it so they are just corresponding with him directly.

I’m using an all in online service which is £700 and they reckon it will take 6-8 weeks.

hey @trailblazer42 so i can get things moving? i’m not sure he’s done anything if im honest. luckily we had the house valued as it went up for sale, so a valuation has been done. i just helpless. i need to move on and i can’t do that whilst still owning a home with him!

@Soontobe60 joint tenants so 50/50 share

@ralsta yes, you should start the process as long as you are sure he can buy you out. If not, then I’d be wary as it will cost you then fall through. My husband has got an agreement in principle (takes no time to get from a mortgage advisor) and has been told it will take 1-2 weeks to convert to an application, then 4-5 weeks for the cash to come through.

I’m using Lawhive.

@trailblazer42 see, i know you can get an agreement in principle in a day haha i’ve been there, done that. so i have no idea why it’s taking so long. he either has been refused for whatever reason but doesn’t want to say. or he’s dragging me along to pee me off. how do i word a message to him to ask - always wary about pissing him off 😂

I was the same as you - how do I deal with him without riling him? But then I thought the only reason I didn’t want to rile him was in case he dug his heels in. But then he wasn’t doing anything anyway so I actually wasn’t going to be any worse off really!

It’s difficult without a divorce process I assume. Are you paying into a mortgage on the property? You could give him notice on stopping that I guess.

I guess you have to set out a timescale for him to comply or you put it back on the market.

@trailblazer42 no i’m not, so he’s paying for the mortgage and i’m paying for the home with my children. he was sort of holding it over me that he paid the mortgage whilst i lived there so i decided to just let him, so i moved out and started renting somewhere. that’s when he decided he wanted to buy me out! he has said today he’s got the figures and that he’s sent over the credit report etc so hopefully things will be moving now