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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Is it heartbreak or abuse?

3 replies

Totallylostandconfused · 06/09/2025 14:39

I told my husband of 4 years (together 14 years) that I didn't love him a few months ago and life has been hell since.

He understandably was very upset but his behaviour has got worse, he's angry one minute because he believes I'm not trying and tbh he's right. I don't want to try, he's been so awful that any part of me that wanted to save it had gone. He's got my children involved in arguments, bad mouths me to them, speaks to me awfully and then says its because he's scared because he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me.

We are financially dependent on each other really but I have suggested ways I which we could split and still be present for the children, and even suggested we took turns staying elsewhere so the kids could stay at home but he is adamant he won't move out. I think we both know we'll have to sell the house but know this will bring financial hardship for us both.

My therapist and friends are telling me I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship, but I don't know if that's just being dramatic or if it's just that he's upset and doesn't want to lose our family?

OP posts:
Startrekkeruniverse · 06/09/2025 14:41

Sorry to be a bit harsh but it’s almost irrelevant if it’s heartbreak or abuse.

You don’t love or want to be with him so leave, that’s it really.

millymollymoomoo · 06/09/2025 14:43

If you don’t want to be with him, rip the plaster off and file for divorce and settlement so you can both heal and move on. Stop pretending otherwise

tickingover · 06/09/2025 14:50

I don’t think he should have to leave if you want to break up the family and live without him then you should pack up and walk away. I would say the same vice versa

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