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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

What to expect after going homeless and asking council to help me

17 replies

Minaaleeza · 05/09/2025 11:17

Hi everyone
im a mother of 3,one of them is newborn and im married to a british man,i have no family here to go to and i want to leave the house he is living in because it is his mother’s and i feel so opressed and stressed that he is accepting we all sleep in one room(big room but all of us sleeping in it) my oldest is 7 and i have 3 years old and a newborn son.i have spoken to him to do an extension or find rent but he is refusing to leave his mother(she is asian),i feel oppressed and helpless and i know you will say why did you have 3 kids with him,because he keeps promising that he is saving for mortgage but after the third newborn he told me im not leaving this house no matter what.
i want to ask the council to help me because it is giving me so much stress and i can not live here anymore.
will they help me?or they will just say you have a roof on your head?
i want to get a divorce from him and leave the house for ever,because i can not live like this All my life,especially he is body shaming me and saying that im lucky to be in the uk and girls dying to be here,i swear i came here because i loved him,i have my Settelement for more than 4 years and i didnt even apply for passport because it is not why im here in the first place.
i need advice please😞

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2025 11:27

Do you actually have settled status OP?

If you do have settled status then you can ask the council but for as long as you are suitably housed, so living with him & not on the streets, you will not be a priority for council housing.

LemonTT · 05/09/2025 11:28

Your situation is complex and you need specialised informed advice. As you are in a vulnerable situation maybe start with Women’s Aid. You will also need advice on your immigration status and you might want to find a charity that can help you with that.

The response from the council will be very much dependent on where you live and local housing availability. But in most places their obligation to house you may not extend beyond temporary accommodation in a hostel or hotel. Which could be a single room.

SirHumphreyRocks · 05/09/2025 11:46

LemonTT · 05/09/2025 11:28

Your situation is complex and you need specialised informed advice. As you are in a vulnerable situation maybe start with Women’s Aid. You will also need advice on your immigration status and you might want to find a charity that can help you with that.

The response from the council will be very much dependent on where you live and local housing availability. But in most places their obligation to house you may not extend beyond temporary accommodation in a hostel or hotel. Which could be a single room.

I agree with this. Depending on where you are even if you were accepted as homeless you might be in temporary accommodation for many years. There simply isn't enough social housing for people who want it. You could look at private sector renting, but that would depend on whether you have recourse to public funds for help with rent etc.

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 05/09/2025 12:03

If the council have to house you, then you will get to spend years in another room and it will be your sleeping/living room.

They won't give you separate bedrooms for small children in emergency accommodation, and you will have a very long wait to get any permanent housing as you will have to apply for a multi bedroom property, but there is a massive shortage.

There is a good chance your oldest would be a teenager before you got housed in more than one room.

Could you return to your own family where you would have some support?

Amina991 · 05/09/2025 14:41

SirHumphreyRocks · 05/09/2025 11:46

I agree with this. Depending on where you are even if you were accepted as homeless you might be in temporary accommodation for many years. There simply isn't enough social housing for people who want it. You could look at private sector renting, but that would depend on whether you have recourse to public funds for help with rent etc.

Show quote history

I have my indifinte leave to remain so i can get help with funds

Amina991 · 05/09/2025 14:43

SirHumphreyRocks · 05/09/2025 11:46

I agree with this. Depending on where you are even if you were accepted as homeless you might be in temporary accommodation for many years. There simply isn't enough social housing for people who want it. You could look at private sector renting, but that would depend on whether you have recourse to public funds for help with rent etc.

Show quote history

I can apply for universal credit,i use to work now im in maternity leave

Amina991 · 05/09/2025 14:43

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2025 11:27

Do you actually have settled status OP?

If you do have settled status then you can ask the council but for as long as you are suitably housed, so living with him & not on the streets, you will not be a priority for council housing.

Yes i have access to public funds

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2025 14:57

Amina991 · 05/09/2025 14:43

Yes i have access to public funds

Show quote history

You can apply to the council but as you are currently adequately housed you will be bottom of the list.

If you present as homeless with your children then you’ll be placed in emergency accommodation, then temp accommodation- this could be a hotel room, so you’d be swapping one room for another. It depends on your area but the wait for a council house where we are is around 10 years for a 3 bed, 7/8 for a 2 bed, it’s not a quick process.

You’d be better off going back to work, saving some money and then moving out into rented, you could then also claim UC to help you with your rent.

Amina991 · 05/09/2025 15:00

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2025 14:57

You can apply to the council but as you are currently adequately housed you will be bottom of the list.

If you present as homeless with your children then you’ll be placed in emergency accommodation, then temp accommodation- this could be a hotel room, so you’d be swapping one room for another. It depends on your area but the wait for a council house where we are is around 10 years for a 3 bed, 7/8 for a 2 bed, it’s not a quick process.

You’d be better off going back to work, saving some money and then moving out into rented, you could then also claim UC to help you with your rent.

Show quote history

I think this is what im going to do
ill go back to work then try to get help with rent🥺
i cant go back untill baby is 9 months

Typicalwave · 05/09/2025 15:02

The first think you need to do is find a local charity specialising in benefits. Contact your local Women’s Aid as a start.

MoodyMargaret11 · 05/09/2025 20:23

If you're married and are house owners, then it also becomes complex. You cant claim being homeless if you left the house voluntarily, even more so if it's a house you own or have rights to (which you will do given that you're married).
Best thing will be to move out to a private rented house but if your income is low that will be tricky as most agents have "affordability checks" and the threshold may be high for a single person's income. That depends on how expensive your local area is of course. Unfortunately agents dont seem to care much about potential benefits, unless you're already in receipt and can show them on paper exactly how much. But if you keep calling for viewings you might find some more relaxed agencies if you are lucky.

MoodyMargaret11 · 05/09/2025 20:25

Just to add - if you decide to separate but live under the same roof, you can still apply for UC. That way you'll have that going as an extra income before you leave, which might be helpful. You'll need to keep all expenses separate from his.

SirHumphreyRocks · 05/09/2025 20:32

MoodyMargaret11 · 05/09/2025 20:25

Just to add - if you decide to separate but live under the same roof, you can still apply for UC. That way you'll have that going as an extra income before you leave, which might be helpful. You'll need to keep all expenses separate from his.

Edited

The OP isn't "living under the same roof" - they are sleeping in the same room as their husband and children. In a house owned by his mother. There is no way that the DWP would allow a separate claim whilst they are sleeping in the same room. And all of that was in their posts, so I am not sure where you got your suggestions from.

OP contact to Women's Aid or something similar and get some proper advice.

Amina991 · 06/09/2025 00:40

MoodyMargaret11 · 05/09/2025 20:23

If you're married and are house owners, then it also becomes complex. You cant claim being homeless if you left the house voluntarily, even more so if it's a house you own or have rights to (which you will do given that you're married).
Best thing will be to move out to a private rented house but if your income is low that will be tricky as most agents have "affordability checks" and the threshold may be high for a single person's income. That depends on how expensive your local area is of course. Unfortunately agents dont seem to care much about potential benefits, unless you're already in receipt and can show them on paper exactly how much. But if you keep calling for viewings you might find some more relaxed agencies if you are lucky.

Edited

It is his mums house and i have nothing on my name.
thank you for the reply

Amina991 · 06/09/2025 00:42

SirHumphreyRocks · 05/09/2025 20:32

The OP isn't "living under the same roof" - they are sleeping in the same room as their husband and children. In a house owned by his mother. There is no way that the DWP would allow a separate claim whilst they are sleeping in the same room. And all of that was in their posts, so I am not sure where you got your suggestions from.

OP contact to Women's Aid or something similar and get some proper advice.

Show quote history

It is hard aint?
i will contact women aid and see my options
i came to a point where anywhere is better than that house so i have nothing to lose

SirHumphreyRocks · 06/09/2025 07:53

In the past I have had some contact with this organisation who may be able to advise or point you in the direction of advice. They may understand your position better. https://www.saheli.org.uk/

Saheli

https://www.saheli.org.uk

Amina991 · 06/09/2025 10:55

SirHumphreyRocks · 06/09/2025 07:53

In the past I have had some contact with this organisation who may be able to advise or point you in the direction of advice. They may understand your position better. https://www.saheli.org.uk/

Thank you

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