50/50 Childcare, what happens at 18?

[BeerAndMusic]

To those that had 50/50 child care or similar - what changed (if anything) when the child turned 18?

Was thinking about DS in a few months hitting that and as an adult he can do what likes. Being the diplomat he is, he would not want to upset either of us and be seen to choose 1 over the other but at 18 going from one house to the other just seems a bit weird (all his other fiends who have divorced parents have tended to be with one parent 80% of the time)?

He just choses where he wants to be and when, everything reshuffles and life moves on. My ds went to uni at 18, decided to go very low contact with his dad and didn't move back home anyway when uni finished. He now lives 300 miles away from me and we WhatsApp each other and try and meet up a few times a year. He doesnt bother to speak to his dad (dad decided to behave like a total arse)
I'm sure that you'll let him know he has a 'base' whichever parent happens to be living in it. They change a lot at that age.

If he has a positive relationship with both of you and has a comfortable home with both of you then you just trust him to spend time with both of you according to his wishes which will presumably be broadly to spend equal time, but possibly less rigidly. No 18+ yo should have to follow rules for how often they see their parents.

Well tbh im surprised at 17 he’s still doing a formal 50:50

they just go between , decide when they’re in/out/away and whose house they stay at.( or move away for work etc). All I ask for is courtesy to let me know so I don’t worry or cook dinner etc

Can I just ask about how child maintenance is agreed once the children move to a more informal system of going wherever they like?

I am looking at a similar scenario soon

We never did 50:50 , exdh had dds eow and a night in the week. It tailed off from around 14/15 due to kids wanting to see friends and exdh lived an hour a way and wouldn’t facilitate it. Be the time they were 18 they usually went to their dads once a month for a day or over night. When they went to uni they would visit him in the holidays. Both working full time now , one still lives with me and sees her dad every couple of months and the other lives 45 min from me and 30 min from dad. She sees me around twice a month and her dad every couple of monthes.

I suppose if you’ve got a formal agreement based on overnights you’d have to take the previous month and adjust it.

I can't imagine there are many 15/17 yr olds staying with a parent 50/50 unless they're really keen. Most will have picked their home well before that and hobbies and friendship groups fill their weekends so there's usually a reason why the staying over doesn't happen. Our GC's social life is so busy they now only stay over at their dad's once or twice for one night in the main holidays (and once they are driving, think it'll only be a flying duty visit!). No court arrangement can make a teenager go 50/50 if they don't want to but it must make child support a bit of a nightmare.

Most cms will stop at 18 if a formal arrangement ( can be 21 if at uni and via court order I think!

I would remind him that he is not responsible for arranging his life to keep those around him happy, and that he should organise his living arrangements to suit himself. Both parents will have to cope, whatever he decides.

They do what they want at that age. My DC did 50/50 ish until he finished his A-levels as his dads was closer to his college so logistically it worked. But as soon as he got a car he voted with his feet and predominately stayed with me or his GF at her parents.
He now stays with me when he’s back home from Uni but I do encourage him to see his dad. He can go weeks without contact with his dad but that’s his choice. His dad doesn’t contact him either but when they see each other there’s no issues. He has a key to both houses and can come and go as he pleases.