Hi all,
iv had a pretty drawn out divorce, which is almost finished, we were due to go to court but have settled and consent order is being drawn up. I feel so anxious about “the end”, the finality of it. I don’t feel relieved I just feel utterly heartbroken.
My STBXH had a fairly long affair, physical and emotional and I was genuinely blindsided by it. We tried to work through it, then he screwed up again, gaslighted me by saying it wasn’t how it looked etc. in the end I filed for divorce and it was the hardest thing iv ever done, I loved him, I loved our life together, that was nearly 2 years ago, so the affair was I guess 3 or 4 years ago.
iv met a great guy, im cautious but happy. I overthink everything, I compare everything too which I know isnt right. But I know moving forwards is the only option now, and he is a good person, I’m extremely fond of him and where it could go.
I’m sitting here tonight alone in my little rental house just sobbing feeling like I cannot believe this has all happened, still. When does it get easier, when does it fade.
I feel bereft at the thought of the finality of the divorce coming through, the feeling of loss I know I’m going to be hit with. We don’t have children so that will be the end of us forever, and it hurts so so much. I know I couldn’t have stayed, he broke me with his behaviour, but I can’t seem to not feel such a sadness even now.
Anyone been in my position re the finality of divorce and how did you cope. I feel like a train is coming toward me.