Discovered secret bank account

[olivetrees99]

Dh and I are supposed to be having an amicable separation. His choice but I’m not making it difficult. We have agreed a financial split and the house is on the market and in the meantime are living together amicably. Today I discovered a secret bank account with about £5k in accumulated over a few months. He works freelance so easy to do. Not only that he’s been paying solicitors despite us having agreed to put it all through amicable.com. I’m beyond devastated and don’t understand why he’s doing this. I had to deal with the fact he had ow and wanting to separate a few months ago, now feel I have been deceived all over again. He doesn’t know I know about it.

Get a solicitor of your own. When he asks why just say 'you know why'.

Is he a mumsnetter following advice to squirrel?

Presumably it’s money earned and saved post separation? It’s not a huge sum

its wise to seek legal
advice. You can still do alot yourselves, be amicable ( or at least civil )and try to sort most things between you - a solicitor would tell you the same

If I was being uncooperative I’d understand it but we agreed a financial split months ago and the “squirrelling” has been done since then in a new bank account so just dishonest and I don’t know why he needs a solicitor

That is exactly what mn recommends though.

That's generally when they have no access to money at all, to fund emergency housing or immediate legal bills to enable them to leave. Not to cheat during the settlement.

We are still living together and finances are still joint and will be until the house is sold at which point everything split equally. His income is always variable but has dropped recently but he said lower paid/less work but we are overdrawn and he’s hiding money. Yes will get my own advice now and spend more money we don’t have.

Your are separated and you have agreed the financials. But if they haven’t gone to court then you can reopen the agreement.

I think there is a case to say it is money as it accrued post separation and post agreement. All you have established is that he has saved and opened a new account. less of a secret account and more of a private account.

What did you think he was doing with his own money and what do you think he is accountable to you? I assume you went through his personal documents to find this out and that’s an overstep. Are you going to share all your financials for the past few months?

Using Amicable to reach agreement doesn’t preclude you seeing a solicitor to confirm it is a fair settlement. You can too and you don’t need to ask. He doesn’t either.

Getting legal advice is sensible, even in an amicable divorce. Wanting an expert’s opinion to ensure the right decisions are being taken and all loose ends accounted for doesn’t stop it being amicable. You should also have separate bank accounts and be getting used to managing your day to day finances separately, with an agreement about how much is put into the shared account from each of you to cover mortgage and bills until you sell and move out. Any money behind that, acquired post separation and outside of what you’ve already agreed in your settlement, arguably should be treated as each of your own now you’re no longer a couple.

Thank you for offering different perspectives. I wasn’t snooping. I found a hardcopy statement while tidying up a pile of paperwork and had no idea what it was until I looked.

Take a photo of the statement and when time comes to split finances say you want your half of X account.

Absolutely snoop. Don't say you know anything
Play dumb.
And start putting your plan together with proper evidence.

Let him squirrel the money whilst he don’t know you know about it , least then you know where he’s hiding the money then when it comes down to it you can show your hand and he will have to share it .

If he’s expecting you to cover bills shortfall or running up debt he’s claiming is joint then it is going to be relevant. I assume he’s going to say OD is 50:50.
I do think you should each have personal accounts and just pay share bills.
But you now know you can’t trust him. I would be insisting you each do a form e and exchange it so you have some comeback if you later find other hidden assets.
I didn’t pay for legal advice until had done form e and questionnaires - it’s not too difficult to do the early stages yourself - but you should always get legal advice before agreeing anything formally. Ask him to fill in Form E and provide the required documents and say you will do the same. He either has to reveal the new account or lie on the form.
My ex was self employed and played down his earnings too so you should be asking for previous years accounts, last 6 months invoices, tax returns etc. don’t just take his word.