Hi all,
First time poster so please bear with me. My husband of 25 years recently told me he no longer loves me and wants a separation. This came 2 weeks before our family holiday, and 5 weeks before our youngest (18) goes off to uni in another country for the first time which she is super stressed about. As well as our eldest (21) going to Spain for a year, also leaving in 3 weeks. Neither of them will know anyone where they are going or have a support network initially. Last year, my eldest also came out of an abusive relationship with her 1st boyfriend who had been physically and sexually abusive towards her, causing anorexia. So she has been through a lot recently.
I would like to try and work things out with my husband but he is adamant that he wants a separation. I'm struggling with the best time to tell my girls. We're approaching the end of said family holiday so they will both be leaving in just under 3 weeks. If I tell them now, I'm still in pieces and may not be able to be objective and rational about it, or to avoid blaming their father. Also, we don't have answers to the inevitable questions like what will happen to the family home, to the dogs etc.
But if we wait till Xmas, when we may actually have answers to those questions, and I may be more stable emotionally, we will only have a week together which isn't much time at all for the girls to process.
To add into the mix, I suspect my girls know something is wrong - and for various reasons, my eldest may incorrectly suspect my husband of having an affair - but probably don't know how serious it may be. While that might seem to be a reason to tell them sooner rather than later, I also know that while they only suspect, they can probably still pretend that things are OK. If we confirm it, we take that away from them.
If anyone has any advice, it would be gratefully received. I'm tying myself in knots over this... Thank you!