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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Asking for a friend..voidable marriage

27 replies

Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 19:35

Yes, I really am asking for a friend despite posting my own concerns. Friend doesn't have MN account so for quickness I am posting on her behalf.

Friend has been married 8 years with one DD who is 13. They own a property on mortgage with 9 years left to pay. He put down a 20k deposit on their first house before marriage. Friend has been through gruelling cancer treatments for many years. Husband has his own issues addictions to name a few in the past. Her husband has announced he wants to divorce but has told her she will not receive any equity of house/finances from assets because their marriage was never consummated. Friend thinks they had sex a handful of times since married but can't be sure. They married when their DD was 5.

I am not convinced in the slightest this is correct regardless of if they did not have sex after they married. I feel he's read something wrong here or got wrong advice. I have told her based on a quick Google search which she has also done this is not correct.

Any advice here?

OP posts:
176509user · 25/08/2025 19:41

Not sure of the legalities but given they were married 8 years it sounds a bit bonkers for him to say that and for anyone to believe him. Her word against his, I’d say.
Sounds like he’s trying to avoid sharing marital pot because he believes it’s “his” ! Furthermore, he’ll have to provide for his child as well.

Onthebusses · 25/08/2025 19:52

hahhahaah, he's a nutjob. That's not remotely the case. She'll get her fair divorce settlement based on her needs. As will he.
Him claiming they never had sex is simply not going to hold up in court, and he would have to seek an annulment to even give it a go.

If they end up in family court for divorce proceedings legally married, that is that.

Cinaferna · 25/08/2025 19:55

He can't prove it. No court would believe it, given the length of the marriage and the existence of children.

MeridaBrave · 25/08/2025 20:00

Its his word against hers but given the passage of
time seems it seems unlikely he can prove it in court.

Original poster
Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 20:01

Thanks. I thought that but then give her chemo/extensive surgeries it may be believed and even if it is possible they didn't have sex since marriage I don't quite see how it can be proven.

OP posts:
UnemployedNotRetired · 25/08/2025 20:43

It would have to be an annulment not a divorce. But not having sex would be grounds to annul a marriage ... though pretty hard to prove after a long marriage.
see Annul a marriage: When you can annul a marriage - GOV.UK

NowNowBob · 25/08/2025 20:46

His word against hers. And with a long marriage they simply won't entertain it.

Id be telling my friend to say that it's completely bonkers and although very infrequent they have obviously consummated the marriage. And tell her to be careful not to get drawn into text/whatsapp arguments where hes also n for the dates etc and drawing her on not being sure. As it sounds like he will use that.

grey rock all the way "don't be daft Bob, of course we consummated the marriage" and repeat.
Then go get a shit hot lawyer.

Suednymph · 25/08/2025 21:00

Well if he can lie so can she so she has every right to be aghast at this insinuation as they were at it like rabbits every second of every day from the date of the wedding when she was ill. Absolute bellend.

thismummydrinksgin · 25/08/2025 21:19

Is DD his child? This clearly proves they have a sexual relationship of some extent.

Original poster
Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 21:28

Yes DD is his. She is concerned as she earns minimum wage. Does not have great earning potential and would really need the equity from the house. I think what has scared her is he has said she won't get anything because their marriage is voidable as it was not consummated.

OP posts:
everychildmatters · 25/08/2025 21:31

Do you know if he'd apply for 50/50 care of child? Changes a lot.

InSpainTheRain · 25/08/2025 21:31

Regardless of the argument over divorce or annulment your friend needs to get legal help.and pronto. Clearly her husband is going to be hiding assets etc as much as he can if he is talking about annulment (which he won't get if they have a child).

Arlanymor · 25/08/2025 21:35

I thought annulment on the basis of an unconsummated marriage has a three-year expiry date? I don't think he will find it as easy as he thinks, plus the idea that she isn't entitled to anything is just utter rot. Plus they have a child together.

The government has a guide to annulment - I would point her in this direction to find out the finer points: https://www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

She also needs to get some legal advice ASAP.

Annul a marriage

How you can have a marriage annulled, the reasons you can give for annulling a marriage and the forms you will need to apply for an annulment. This includes information from the withdrawn D191 guide.

https://www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

Pinkcherry26 · 25/08/2025 21:39

Voidable marriages are legal until annulled and so there is still a financial element, just as for a divorce, under the 1973 Act. It's not the same as a void one. It doesn't help him wriggle out. He would also need to explain his delay in applying - eight years is not normal! She needs to take legal advice from an expert in this area.

everychildmatters · 25/08/2025 21:45

And how does one party prove there has been no sex unless both parties agree?!!!

notimeforregrets · 25/08/2025 21:58

thismummydrinksgin · 25/08/2025 21:19

Is DD his child? This clearly proves they have a sexual relationship of some extent.

I think they married after the children were born.

Original poster
Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 22:07

Yes. She married after her DD was born. She's not sure if there was sex after the marriage? How can you prove this. Their DD is 14 soon.

I personally do not think he has a leg to stand on. Irrespective of whether they had sex in the post marriage period.They have been married 8 years. Together for 11 years. Have a mortgage together. If he felt this badly about the lack of sex he should have discussed sooner imo.

OP posts:
PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 25/08/2025 22:13

Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 22:07

Yes. She married after her DD was born. She's not sure if there was sex after the marriage? How can you prove this. Their DD is 14 soon.

I personally do not think he has a leg to stand on. Irrespective of whether they had sex in the post marriage period.They have been married 8 years. Together for 11 years. Have a mortgage together. If he felt this badly about the lack of sex he should have discussed sooner imo.

She doesn't know of.theyve had sex in the last 8 years?

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 25/08/2025 22:14

Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 21:28

Yes DD is his. She is concerned as she earns minimum wage. Does not have great earning potential and would really need the equity from the house. I think what has scared her is he has said she won't get anything because their marriage is voidable as it was not consummated.

Why doesn't she not have good earning potential? Is she expecting spousal maintenance?

Original poster
Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 22:15

No, thats not what I meant. They had sex when DD was a toddler but cant remember if it was before they married or after. What difference does it make.

OP posts:
UnemployedNotRetired · 25/08/2025 22:15

Apparently even if a marriage is annulled that does not mean there is no financial settlement:
"How are assets split in an annulment?
In England and Wales, an annulment does not end the financial relationship between you and your spouse. Instead, an application for financial settlement must be made to the court to enable matrimonial property or assets to be formally divided." Annulment vs Divorce - Everything you need to know - Stewarts - Stewarts

Annulment vs Divorce

We explore annulment and divorce, their differences and answer a host of questions about the legislation. Find out more here.

https://www.stewartslaw.com/expertise/divorce-and-family/annulment-vs-divorce/#:~:text=How%20are%20assets%20split%20in,financial%20arrangements%20with%20your%20spouse.

UnemployedNotRetired · 25/08/2025 22:15

Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 22:15

No, thats not what I meant. They had sex when DD was a toddler but cant remember if it was before they married or after. What difference does it make.

No sex after marriage means it can be annulled.

Original poster
Ashleyupnorth · 25/08/2025 22:16

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 25/08/2025 22:14

Why doesn't she not have good earning potential? Is she expecting spousal maintenance?

Show quote history

Because she has been unwell a lot of her working life that is why and no she isn't expecting spousal maintenance just half of the equity that she has paid into despite working all the while through her cancer treatment.

OP posts:
DarlingHoldMyHand · 25/08/2025 22:28

As pp said you typically have to apply for annulment on grounds of non-consummation within the first 3 years. The husband would have to provide good reasons for the delay.

And in any event for non-consummation you would have to show that the marriage was not consummated for reasons of incapacity (i.e. one party has become unable to have sex) or wilful refusal (i.e. one party has made a settled and definite decision not to consummate without just excuse - Horton v Horton).

I probably wouldn't worry too much if I was in your friend's position.

Mancity08 · 25/08/2025 22:35

He’s off his head thinking because you havnt had sex dw is not entitled to any assets when they are on a joint mortgage and paying it for 14 yrs

do you know if their joint tenants or tenants in common ? Did he get his 20k ringed fenced ?
although I’m not sure if this stands after you get married

He sounds horrible, to nit want his daughter to have somewhere to live etc .