So my husband of 11 years today, been together nearly 21 years decided on the 19th of may to end our marriage. It was out of the blue, I had no idea it was coming, fast forward to a short 4 days later and I see messages on his phone saying I love you so much and his reply I love you. To now a few weeks ago he told our daughter (13) that he had a new girlfriend etc and low and behold its the same lady he told he loved 4 days after ending our marriage and who he had been talking to for months. But he says he didnt leave me for her, but for reasonings of he didnt feel wanted or loved and we didnt do enough for each other.
Im heartbroken and he's moving on with the person he emotionally cheated on me with.
I am seeing a therapist, cry every day, feel numb etc and he's just off living life without a care in the world, he's hardly seen the kids and I've done everything so he could still have them etc whilst he was looking for a place to live but he chose not to cause it would be to hard to be here, but it doesnt matter im stuck in our home raising our children with all the good memories and then of the memories where I find out he's cheating, he's left me and its ok im left in that. My poor kids have seen me breakdown everyday since he left and my 3 year old even asks mummy why are you sad again and I just get more sad for the fact he's having to ask me that.
I have no idea what's going in in his head as he hardly talks to me, turns it all back into it being a we problem, but he wanted out he cheated and said it wasnt a overnight decision, but I was still good enough to sleep with, do his washing, cook his dinner, check up on him, he still told me he loved me all whilst talking to this other women. I just feel stupid the night he told me it was over, I stood in our kitchen and begged him not to go, for us to work it out and he just told me to stop begging and its all about my feelings etc, I just think it blew up in his face and he realised that how he thought it was, wasnt it at all. And the fact I see the messages on his phone when he fell asleep and when I woke him to find out what the hell was going on he said they were just close friends and he said it was said in a supportive way, so even after 20 years he thought id be stupid enough to believe that to which, he then eventually acknowledged that he emotionally cheated but not physically and said to him its two totally different things etc but he wouldnt of told me if I didnt see them and now there together but he tells me he didnt leave me for her. But took all of 4 days to tell her he loves her after ending our marriage but he said its not like that cause it happened after he ended our marriage etc
Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get it off my chest, hoping someone can help me cause I feel like im going crazy, he won't really talk about anything you would think he was the injured party and he cant understand why 3 of his children have said they dont want to meet this women, they said its to soon and he had no conversation with me about how or when to tell them and our children are still trying to wrap their heads around us not being together and he's more worried what they've said about this new women and saying people are getting to them, but even after everything my family have been really good, said he's your dad its best to sit down and talk to him, I've told them you dont have to meet her until your ready etc putting my feelings aside to focus solely on my children's hearts and feelings but he isn't thinking of anyone but himself he even said that he's putting himself first
Sorry carried on rambling again but my mind is at 100mph and this goes through my head all day every day our conversations on repeat, how do you do that to someone after 20 years, walks away like its nothing and like he's done nothing wrong.... I am so angry at him, but mostly hurt and the worst I cant hate him I still love him