I’m really struggling

[Futurepast]

So for years I know my ex was emotionally abusive but it was only towards the end I realised he was controlling.
i was the one who did everything at home including with our DD.
I have now found out that other than the one I knew about and the one I suspected there was even more infidelity. His current is 18 years younger.
he made a big song and dance about spending “quality time” with our daughter (I haven’t stopped him from seeing her) but he knows how nervous I am given his short temper and her vulnerability. But according to police, social services and a solicitor right now there’s not much I can do.
He decided he was going to take her for 4 hours. He turned up 45 mins late and dropped her back 20 minutes early.
I have since found out that when I would tell him I think his family hate me and he would say I’m being paranoid the truth was they did! Because he would tell them I didn’t want to go anywhere with them and that I didn’t do anything for his son (I did all the cooking, cleaning, washing and bought and wrapped all his presents).
it just seems to be revelation after revelation.
i know for a fact im better off but i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like I’ll never move on.

You will move on. Life has a way of moving you on even when you're not feeling it, but you need to let go of what's behind you if you want to reach what's ahead of you.

I have now found out that other than the one I knew about and the one I suspected there was even more infidelity
That just proves splitting up was the right thing to do. It was over and no amount of counselling would fix it. You would never have had a decent relationship, no matter what you did or didn't do.

He decided he was going to take her for 4 hours. He turned up 45 mins late and dropped her back 20 minutes early.
Not much you can do about this unless you want to be petty, but that could harm your DD in the long run so think carefully.
Tell him that if he doesn't turn up on time then 10 minutes later you and dd are going out which means he can't have her. Or go out and don't return home until 5 minutes before he is due back so he cannot drop her off early. Both scenarios could hurt DD though so it might just be one of those things you grit your teeth for until DD is old enough to tell her dad herself.

I have since found out that when I would tell him I think his family hate me and he would say I’m being paranoid the truth was they did!
It's over, their views on you, the relationship or anything are no longer your concern. They do not exist in your life anymore so don't give them the head space. Put them in the same mental box as an annoying ex neighbour or the kid at school who was a pain. They are nothing.

I feel like I’ll never move on.
Things like this can be subtle. You will feel stuck as though nothing has changed and then one day you will glance back and see how far you have actually come. You will get there