Requesting an extra day with the children

[ILikePizza2025]

Hi, my ex and I work at the same company, just in different locations. We make our schedules in advance. I asked for an extra three days coming up. One being during my child's Fall Break and Halloween weekend. Ex never responded. Didn't want to risk working and having the children. I would ask if we could do a 7-on-7-off exchange. I stuck to the original schedule and took 3 days off (Thursday one week, A Friday and Saturday another week). We can manipulate our schedules enough to be off when we have the children. I gave my ex a heads-up before the schedule closed for the next schedule.

Would it be rude if I text my ex these are the days off and days I have the children? Thoughts?

If you have a standing schedule, you can’t deviate without both parties agreeing. Just stating the days you are having the children is presumptuous.

You are asking for a favor that you will then be willing to reciprocate when your ex wants a favor.

You are also asking for Halloween, which if a parent is lucky enough to get by default, they may not want to give up. You can’t just claim it. Have you considered offering something equally valuable in exchange?

Halloween is big to my oldest and me. I can only recall my ex going trick-or-treating once with my oldest and me over the years. Last year we did about 5 trunk or treat events. The Halloween before that, my ex wouldn't let me have a night with my children, the first time we were separated. I was off Halloween that year so we split it. This year off on Halloween and have nights. Once go through the Court, one of the 12 holidays wants to rotate, split 6 & 6.

I decided to take off my child's birthday instead to see if my ex can pick my child up at school. Since the birthday falls on the first day/second night, they have my children.

Really only two days giving up Friday and Saturday. Offered my ex to have the Wednesday before Halloween.