No fault divorce - assets

[Slogger]

Hi
We have been married for 9 years. We have never lived together and never had any financial dependence on each other. No children either.
My spouse always lived in a (mortgage free) house of their own. I have always lived in my own house, on a mortgage. Overall, in theory, if we both sold our properties, I will have around £80k more than my partner. We do have a significant income difference: my partner is on £18k per annum. I am on a £72k per annum.

While we both are planning to apply for a joint no fault divorce, and also have long had the (verbal) understanding that WHATS YOURS IS YOURS AND WHATS MINE IS MINE, I want to be prepared for all possibilities in case my partner gets other ideas at the time of financial settlement.

How can I protect myself from giving away anything thats mine, in a timely manner? I could delay the divorce application if I need to prepare in a specific way?

How would judge view the separation of assets if we had a dispute?

Any help would be highly valuable.

PS: if you are wondering about how/why we have never lived together; the answer is that some sensitive information surfaced just a week prior to our wedding. It was too late and embarrassing for both parties/families to cancel, and I was too weak and stupid to deal with it, YET, I stood my ground on not engaging in co-habitation or any financial entanglement, and built a successful career focussing on my professional goals. I feel annoyed imagining that I would have to give anything away to this person as a part of divorce settlement.

You are married. It’s a legal contract, regardless of where you live. You need to seek legal advice, not Mumsnet.

You can go to mediation and negotiate. Why has this taken you 9 years? The needs of each party will be in the mix though so why is your “ex” earning so little and what could they earn in future to support themselves? However mediation is sensible but you might want to see a solicitor about assets and an offer.

No particular reason. We just carried on in our respective lives, especially I focussed entirely on my professional goals just now found the solid career stability that I was aiming to achieve. My spouse earn what they do because they never had any mortgage to pay for as they had a small house of their own (via their bank of mum and dad), but their future earning potential is never going to be substantially more. They do have rich parents.

Can you apply for an annulment rather than divorce

So you still married him after this information you found out but don’t live with him ?

would have been better to not married him

as you are married. Makes no diff if you live together

How would I approach this? I wasnt aware of this route until you just mentioned.

www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

If you both agree how to split the assets it will get approved especially if you can demonstrate the above and there are no dependents

if it’s disputed it’s likely to be a 50:50 split

The conditions of annulment are not met. The delay is definitely an issue and grounds for the annulment.

How do you know that?

@FreezingColdHere From the Govt web site and what the op says about her marriage. It’s been 9 years, not 9 months and the web site gives precise info about grounds for annulment.

Nothing in the OP suggests that the marriage cannot be anulled

When you can annul a marriage
Annulment (sometimes known as ‘nullity’) is a different way of ending a marriage.
Unlike divorce, you can apply for annulment in the first year of your marriage or any time after. However, if you apply years after the wedding, you might be asked to explain the delay.
You’ll need to show that the marriage:
was never legally valid (‘void’)
was legally valid, but meets one of the reasons that makes it ‘voidable’
This guide is also available in Welsh (Cymraeg).
Your marriage is not legally valid - ‘void’ marriages
You can annul a marriage if it was not legally valid in the first place, for example:
you’re closely related to the person you married
one or both of you were under 18 (or under 16 if the marriage took place before 27 February 2023)
one of you was already married or in a civil partnership
If a marriage was never legally valid, the law says that it never existed.
However, you may need legal paperwork (a ‘decree of nullity’ or ‘nullity of marriage order’) to prove this - for example if you want to get married again.
Your marriage is ‘voidable’
You can annul a marriage for a number of reasons, such as:
it was not consummated - you have not had sexual intercourse with the person you married since the wedding (does not apply for same sex couples)
you did not properly consent to the marriage - for example you were forced into it
the other person had a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when you got married
your spouse was pregnant by someone else when you got married
one spouse is in the process of transitioning to a different gender
As with divorce, your marriage legally exists until you annul it using one of these reasons.

Oh wow, I never knew that your partner having an STD when you married was grounds for annulment!

It depends on the sensitive info doesn’t it. We don’t know if it meets the threshold but the length of time is an issue.

Length of time isn't an issue. You can annul anytime, you just can't divorce in the first year of a marriage.

All that matters is if there is a legally valid reason to annul and being able to prove it.

You are both housed so I can't see any reason to sell either house.

This is my biggest worry/question; just because I have a more wealth, would I be made to sell mine to achieve what i think is a farcical fairness, especially when one of us has clearly opted to live a lazy life.
PS: i have read and annulment doesnt apply.

@Slogger The marriage has wealth. They are currently joint assets. Not just yours. If you wanted them to be considered yours, you needed a pre nup. These are taken into account in divorce because they show intent, especially in a short marriage. Without that you need to get a financial settlement in your favour. You put your offer in and see what your soon to be ex will agree to. Get a solicitor. Going to court is the last resort.

You can’t do anything significant post marriage to protect yourself from divorce without the other party’s agreement in the form of a post nuptial agreement. Even that wouldn’t totally mitigate the risk of losing assets in a divorce.

One of the risks in staying married is that it increases the likelihood of the need gap widening. That can just happen with age. But if the other party were to develop a capacity or capability conditional that prevented them from earning then it could increase their need in a divorce. Something that can override other considerations.

Another risk is that the other party gets into debt, enough to trigger action by a creditor to seek recovery of every potential asset. In some circumstances the creditor could have an interest in securing the maximum divorce settlement whether your ex agreed to it or not.

Being married has advantages for most people which outweigh the risks. You aren’t gaining any advantage from being married. But you do have a lot of risk which increases with time.

Book a few free 30 min advice sessions and let us know what they say. It's not always 50/50 and not having children makes it easier. As I said, in a divorce the main thing is ensuring both parties are houses adequately

Thanks. It seems like the way forward. I will go ahead with a few solicitors to understand what are the key principles, and report back here.
As i said, ours is the most inpendent/detached marriage I know of with everything documented so clearly that neither of us have actually ever depended on or lived with each other. I understand law as law, but hearing people’s overwhelming opinion here seems like marriage is a one big scam with a pretext of financial lottery for one party. I really hope (wishfully thinking) that decisions are made on some degree of evidence and not capital punishment for getting married.

yep that pretty much sums it up if you’re the high(er) earner

really need to teach kids the realities of divorce at school mom terms of legal
contracts, assets etc.

@SloggerIm sorry, but you could have got divorced very quickly after marriage. You have delayed the inevitable and now found there could be a cost to that. A very quick divorce would have protected your interests purely because the length of marriage would have been short. You decided to hang on in there but you are married and that’s not a scam. You could have freed yourself 8 years ago.

Evidence might not indicate 50:50 anyway. or a need for that, but you are not single with your individual holdings. You remained married and made your own bed - so to speak. You were not forced to stay married for 9 years.

I have had a chance to speak to a couple of solicitors and they both have said pretty much the same points; that in this scenario where all finances and housing arrangements were independent throughout the marriage, technically there exists no shared matrimonial assets. This can only be challenged if one partner can adequately demonstrate they relied on others support, and therefore, post-divorce they will not be able to manage alone. If this partner is unable to prove (which is our case) this, court (if it ends up in courts) will never favour the partner with lower income or the one with a less valued house or other assets. The court will honour the argument that if past arrangements show that both parties have independently lived/afforded their lives, they should be able to continue and person with higher income or greater assets will not be penalised.

Obviously, I write the above with a degree of caution as we have not had this outcome yet, but thats what both solicitors have said.