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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How do you split parenting time between you and ex?

3 replies

EezehMummy · 21/08/2025 20:46

We are divorced 1 year and separated for 3 before that. My ex still lives back with his parents and also has a GF he stays with a few days week (both within 10 miles of our home). When we split he insisted he could only have the 2 kids (one primary, one secondary age) overnight for one day a week. He refuses to rent although he can afford to. I agreed that access arrangement as I thought it would be temporary but four years later, here we are. Now I’ve asked him to do extra days in the holidays — he has had them for 2 extra nights in the whole six weeks.

Is this normal? Should I demand he has them for 2 nights? Can I do that!? Should he be paying more maintenance for only doing 1 night instead of 2? We haven’t been through the CSA, always agreed a figure (pretty low one as I earn more) and he pays every month.

But I can’t help feel he doesn’t give a damn about the kids as he just isn’t interested in increasing his contact with them or getting his own home to facilitate that.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 21/08/2025 21:45

You can’t force or demand anything ( and I wouldn’t bother)

just submit a cms claim using 1 night a week

BookArt55 · 22/08/2025 21:08

Agree with @millymollymoomoo. Put in a claim. If he doesn't want to parent with time and effort he should at least do it financially.
You can't force him to parent. Sorry.

EezehMummy · 23/08/2025 09:01

Thanks both, I have mentioned child maintenance recently as he’s not upped it in those four years. If we can’t agree we’ll go through CMS.

OP posts:
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