Potential financial split and general thoughts?

[TheApplicant]

Background

I am 51 years old, my husband is also 51 years old.

Married in 1992 (33-year marriage at time of divorce proceedings).

Separated in 2020 (28 years)

We have three children:

Eldest (28, adult, independent)

Middle child (now 23) – severely autistic with adjustment disorder, living at home, requires full-time care.

Youngest (13) – lives with me full-time.

I am the primary carer for both my disabled adult son and my younger child. This means my earning capacity is very limited. I have also had anxiety & depression since 2016 and am in receipt of PIP for this.

Properties:

There are three mortgage-free properties in the case:

1. Former Matrimonial Home (FMH) – where I live with the children. (Valued at £330,000 and mortgage free) purchased in 2004.

1. Property A – where my husband resides. Currently in his name. (Valued at £320,000 with a mortgage of £90,000. Net equity £230,000) my husband purchased this property in 2022 - 2 years after separation, however I believe martial funds were used to facilitate the purchase.

1. Property B (Rental Property) – also in his name and mortgage free. 'His tennant' is not allowing entry to the surveyor for valuations, however Zoopla states an average of £288,000 - also mortgage free. Purchased in 2002.

Pensions:

Husband is a serving police officer.

His police pension CETV (cash equivalent transfer value) is approx. £495,000 before actuarial adjustments.

An actuary is being instructed to calculate offsetting or sharing.

I have no significant pension of my own.

My role as a full-time carer (for both a disabled adult child and a minor child) means I have little to no earning capacity going forward.

Husband has a stable income as a police officer and a very secure pension.

There are multiple income streams which were initially undisclosed on his Form E, these average out to about £10,000 NET per year in addition to the £800 per calendar month in rent that he receives for the rental property. In total including his police wage after CMS reductions, his monthly net income taking into account rent and secondary occupation is approximately £3,500-£3,800.

Court Proceedings So Far:

We are in ancillary relief (financial remedy) proceedings.

The court has already issued penal notices against my husband due to repeated non-compliance (not providing full disclosure, failing to pay for valuations, delaying answers to my supplemental questionnaire).

I must note my supplemental questionnaire contained issues regarding initially undisclosed bank accounts which were only disclosed aftwr I had provided the account number and sort codes to said accounts. I also raised issues around 'loan agreements' betwen my husband and his family/friends which are very suspicious as they are allegedly signed in 2020, but my husbands address within the header is listed as the property he purchased in 2022.

At the last hearing (July 2025), the judge directed that all previous and future orders be sent to his employer (police force) due to concerns about his compliance.

The next hearing is listed for September 2025, which could be treated as a final hearing if he fails to comply again.

Offers & Positions

I would like to keep the FMH (for stability of the children) and ideally Property B, with him retaining Property A and his pension (or at least most of it).

He has suggested transfer of only the FMH to me in the past (rejected), and in emails has complained about my disclosure, while failing to comply with his own obligations.

He has not put forward a clear proposal other than vague references to me keeping “the matrimonial home”.

I must also add that my husband is ALREADY in breach of 2 court orders (from FDR on 6th March 2025) with penal notices attached. These are to facilitate entry for rental property to be valued and also to return replies to my supplemental questionnaire. I did not action these via a committal order at the time. But intend to do so for the latest court order if deadlines are not followed.

The judge has also reserved the case to herself, given his continued non compliance throughout the duration (18 months) of the proceedings. The process server concluded he was evading personal service when he was served the documents relating to the FDA last year.

Key Issues for Determination

1. Housing Needs – I need secure housing for myself, my 13-year-old, and my disabled 25 year-old who will likely always live with me.

1. Pension Sharing vs Offsetting – whether I should take a share of his police pension, or whether I can offset against properties.

1. Conduct / Non-compliance – whether his repeated delays and failure to comply will influence the judge.

1. Clean Break – I want a clean break financially, given the length of the marriage and my limited earning capacity.

Question:

Given the facts (long marriage, three mortgage-free properties worth ~£250–£300k each, a £495k police pension, my role as full-time carer, and his stable income and pension), what would a realistic and fair settlement look like?

For example:

Is it more likely the court would award me two properties and part of the pension, or two properties with no pension share?

How heavily does the fact I am caring for a disabled adult child (and a minor child) weigh into the split?

Would a “clean break” be achievable in this case?

Thanks in advance.

Definitely sufficient for a clean break but a couple of things to consider before put your final case together. A typically developing 13 year old won’t be considered a hindrance to your earning, they will require a bedroom (not sure of size of fmh) the adult child with disabilities is of an age where it is reasonable for them to be placed into independent living if your circumstances change, eg living with 2-3 similar adults and carers) so demanding a large home may not fly legally but you can try (you keeping your child at home saves the state a fortune). I honestly think asking for 50% of total assets is your best move because it appears not greedy, what does that look like asset wise? I think the two houses are under 50% depending on savings available?

No court is going to tell you to put your disabled child into independent living - even if it was easy to find one - which it’s not. Court decided both me and ex needed to house a disabled adult child (although they are only with ex EOW). As the assets are enough for you both to have 3 bed homes I would expect 50:50. Possibly you may be able argue for slightly more to equalise retirement income as you can’t earn a pension.

You need to calculate benefits once your youngest leaves as your income will drop and also if you eldest needs to rely more on social care (bought in care) their benefits will then be subject to care contributions and they will be left with minimum income guarantee which is really low. Realistically you won’t be providing all the day care when you are older.

I would be grabbing the pension as once you are of pension age you won’t get pip and your income will be limited but you will probably still be having to subsidise your older child. The state pension+ police pension + mortgage free house would give you a secure retirement

you need advice on impact on your benefits and your disabled childs of having assets other than your main home

His net income from the rental property won't be £800 if that's what the rent is as 40% will go directly to the tax man.

I agree that you can't afford to be a landlord. You might have to pay some taxes on it too, then you have all the addional costs that comes with it and you need to consider that the tenants might stop paying for months, it would take months to get them evicted and in all likelihood, you'd never get what they owe you. Being a tenant of one property is not a money making business any longer for most.