How to prevent ex from changing school.

[ThatGoldMoose]

My ex has moved out and currently has the children. Contact is limited between us at the moment. Our son is very settled in his school and had a good year there. I am terrified of my ex trying to change the school without my consent. I am assuming it's difficult and needs both of our approval? I have emailed the school to warn already and the council. to state I wouldn't give approval and to notify me. We both have PR and have an ongoing court case related to custody. School restarts in a few weeks. Any advice?

If you both have PR then neither of you can make a unilateral change to schooling. If your ex tries then you can apply to court to stop it.

I think court stuff takes a while though to get approved right? 4-6 weeks. is nothing immediate possible to stop a move if both have PR? I want to make sure our son resumes at the same school in 2-3 weeks time.

You need a specific issues application, and ask for an urgent hearing, to gain an interim order until matters are settled.

Why are you worried that he/she might change your son's school? What's the backstory? Most parents would want a child to remain in a school they're settled in.

Why limited contact

but yes there needs to be agreement or a court order

How far away from the school is the parent with care living, are they expected to undertake a longer journey to get the child to school and then get to work. It would have been better for the parent with care and the child to be allowed to remain in the family home and you move out if child’s school is so important to you.

What are the reasons that you have remained in the family home close to the school and your partner and your children have been the ones to move out?

We both have equal care, although kids with ex currently. We lived together 5 minutes walk from his current school, ex partner moved out, currently staying at families house, but looking for accomodation, potentially out of the area. Creates a shared custody issue if school is changed, but another fear is how far away the move is.

Do you mean the DC are with you, 50/50?

What matters is the DC. You have to find a way for the DC to have two homes within reach of the school. That may mean you both moving somewhere where there is support, housing and school place.

Have you offered to help your ex pay for accommodation nearer the school? Or to move out so that he/she can move back in with the kids?

Yes this is the ideal scenario. But I am wondering how easy it is for a school to get changed, if i don't consent/sign.

Can you offer to pick up the child and take them to school each day?

We are in the process of deciding who gets the kids which days. I am just terrified of a move like a school change without my approval, as our son has done so well in his school and it would be sad to pull him out. If my ex partner gets a place outside the area though, this could be the case.

Well the reality unfortunately is if you can’t afford two homes near the school and you want 50/50 then you will need to find a school you can afford two homes close to.

Ultimately, you need to be practical about this and think about financial realities.

The starting-point should be that the one who has the children remains in the family home until it is sold. If your ex currently has the kids full-time (which is unclear from your posts), move out and let them move back in so that they can get your son to school.

Why are they staying with family? How far is it from your son's school? There are certain key details that you've missed out here.

A court is not going to order your ex to do the impossible.

How old are they?

I changed my DCs school without any consent from my ex. He was a teenager though and also wanted the move. I dont know if that made a difference.

Our son is 5. Very settled in the school.

How long is the school run from where your ex is presently living?

You’re not that clear in your answers, regarding how much physical custody/ time you have currently with your child, juts that the other parent has moved out and the child is with them- reading between the lines, they are with the other parent 100% so you have parental rights, absolutely but no physical custody currently? They will be able to apply to the court if they have the child to change school if they aren’t going to be able to come back to the area.

OP says equal care. Why are people suggesting she should move out? Yes ultimately things may have to change but for now, the best thing for most children is maximum stability, ie same home and same school.

The children aren’t currently in their ‘same home’ @oviraptor21. Many posters have queried why the children aren’t in the home that ls closest to the school the op wants them to go to, but the op hasn’t responded.

But isn’t it current school holidays in the UK right now?

So any questions about why the child isn’t currently in the house closest to the school aren’t valid this week.

@ThatGoldMoose A poster above mentioned going to court for a certain order and doing it asap. You don’t want any hint of habitual residence going to exh. The same with registered doctors surgery etc. Particularly if you think that he might be the type to make unilateral decisions that don’t put the interests of your child first.

I wouldn’t say a 5 year old is “settled” in school - you have to face the reality of depending on where both parents can afford to live then the school may have to change. It’s crap but that’s the reality of a relationship breaking down it’s always the kids who are impacted worse