How to leave

[Hl22wil]

Hi, I hope someone will be able to guide me in the right direction. I have been with my children’s father for 18 years I have 2 children with him 12 and 9. The last 9 years he has been addicted to cocaine which is something I am very much against and have begged him to stop, this addiction leads him to go out weekly and not come home until very early hours. As a person he is fine and very liked so people find it hard to believe he’s the way he is. Anyway I have asked him to leave as I know he will never change and it’s not a life I want to live and for my children to think this is how you treat someone. We live in a rented property- he is refusing to leave as he has a right to live there as much as I do. I’m currently sleeping on the sofa which is not nice for my children to see.
My question is I only work part time and I have worked out I can get financial support from UC but there is a waiting list obviously and I can’t claim while I live with him. Im desperate to leave but I just don’t have the money to up and go by myself with the children. Does anyone have any advice on how to leave.
TIA.

First question Is are you married
second is why are you only working pt? You should consider that really you’ll need to work ft

is the tenancy agreement in both your names? When does it expire?

I think you can apply for cms and uc if you can demonstrate you’re separated but in sane house ( ludicrous but there you go)

but the first question is key

In terms of income you would have your salary, UC and support with rent plus child support. There are online tools which will work out what you might be entitled to.

The first thing you should do is use these to estimate what your income could be and then draw up a budget identifying all your necessary expenses.

In terms of finding a new home you could approach the landlord to find out if they would rent to you alone. If that’s a non starter then you need to explore the local market. Find out what is available and also approach the council who can put you on a waiting list or help you with a private rental.

You can apply for UC whilst living together. But you would have to cut financial ties with him. This means that he can’t subsidise you in any way.

Does he contribute financially to the family home? Or is all his money going up his nose

We are not married, he pays for the rent, and basic household bills. I pay for all the children’s need CT and any additional bills (phones, WiFi,tv etc)

saying I work part time I work 9-3 every day to save on child care costs and TT only. I have a well paid job but obviously TT only reduces this.

The landlady would rent to me alone but he will not leave. I have found a house near where I live which is £1700 per month. Which I believe I can afford (I’ve done the calculations) but I need £2500 to secure the house.

thank you all for your advice, this is all new to me.

UC let me claim as single when I was living with but separated from my ex partner. However I believe this was largely down to him making no financial contribution at all. Everything was in my name.

Do you have any family who could help you with the deposit?

Thank you, I think I’m going to go to citizens advice to see what support I can get.

I appreciate everyone’s input - I didn’t think I could claim while he is still here.

I think it was HMRC I first spoke to - xp wouldn't go to work, also wouldn't look after dc. Dc were in childcare while I worked and entitled to 30 hour funding. I got a letter to say I was no longer eligible for the funding due to his lack of earnings. Rang up and explained situation and they said reapply for funding without him on and then advised removing from UC claim also

1700 a month on rent ? 😳

I know! That’s the average where I live :(

I’m not sure you’ll be able to claim if he’s living there and paying the rent.

you’ll need to check

ehen is the tenancy up? Your landlady could give notice and then rent to you ?

If it is the average then there are cheaper options.

No not for a house or anywhere with a garden there isn’t. I could probably get a 2 bed flat for £1400

Rent in a lot of places is that expensive these days. I'm paying a similar amount although it is a larger property (but we needed it)

The answer to your question on how to leave is to accept change and compromise to your current standard of living. That is the consequence of living off one income.

even if I went for the £1400 how does that help? It’s still a down payment I don’t have yet?

I am accepting change and compromise - I would move anywhere but it doesn’t make sense to me to move to somewhere that doesn’t suit my family when I can move somewhere for slightly more that does?. I don’t understand the issue here.

if you are basically asking how to get 2.5k then the options are you borrow it or someone gives it to you. If you borrow it then you would want to give it back and the money you save would go to that.

A less expensive property would mean less of a deposit so win win

If you don’t know anyone willing to give it to you then maybe try the local housing office. They might help with a deposit.

It might not be helpful to point out that when money is tight you go for the cheapest option but it is how most of us do it.

The issue is that you are talking about getting UC and in the same breath talking about renting a property at 1700.

I don’t know if relevant to your council but ours has a discretionary housing fund, where you can apply for assistance with deposit/advance rent. There is a criteria but might be worth a call to your local housing department and explain your circumstances 🤞