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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

What would be fair?

21 replies

Mexicotime · 14/08/2025 20:56

Name changed for this.
Married 23 years 4 children. We have £300 k equity in house and 100K in savings. Husband earns considerably more than me - £125k to £150 self employed. I work part time but full time would be about 48 thousand but as it is a specialised role if made redundant I might have to take a wage cut to 35K in future.

What would be a fair split? With a half share in pension would judge be more likely to award 50/50, 60/40 or 75/25 due to high earning. He has a chartered qualification and can easily earn this salary/ wages in the future. Many thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 14/08/2025 21:24

How old are the children?
how old are you both?

wevetalkedalittlenotalot · 14/08/2025 21:33

What are the children’s housing arrangements going to be?

wevetalkedalittlenotalot · 14/08/2025 21:35

My DC (teens) live with me full time and we had a similar income split. I got 80/20 on the house and left his pension alone.

Total split therefore was around 66 percent to me.

washinwashoutrepeat · 14/08/2025 21:49

following as I am in a similar situation but no equity or savings.

Original poster
Mexicotime · 14/08/2025 22:30

25,23,12 and 10. We are mid 40s

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicotime · 14/08/2025 22:33

wevetalkedalittlenotalot · 14/08/2025 21:33

What are the children’s housing arrangements going to be?

Not sure.

OP posts:
GreenLeaf25 · 14/08/2025 22:35

I earn more than your husband and my ex the same as you. Judge ruled to split 50/50 on everything.

Cerialkiller · 14/08/2025 22:37

Do you have access to business accounts op? If he likely to try to avoid child maintenance or are you doing 50/50 care for younger two?

On the face of it, long marriage, 4 kids, 2 still dependant with a big income difference I don't think a 70/30 split would be unreasonable especially considering your assets are not enormous compared to income.

Did you have a career that you sacrificed to have children that you can evidence?

This would be a split of pension, equity, assets and don't forget that as you are married, his business forms part of martial assets too.

Is his business bricks and mortar? Staff, assets etc? Or just based on his skills? Is it something that he could close and reopen under a different name?

Tiswa · 14/08/2025 22:39

What can get you both adequately housed that is as close to 50/50 as possibke

wevetalkedalittlenotalot · 14/08/2025 23:07

Mexicotime · 14/08/2025 22:33

Not sure.

Show quote history

This is a really important factor as everyone needs to be adequately housed.

Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:26

wevetalkedalittlenotalot · 14/08/2025 23:07

This is a really important factor as everyone needs to be adequately housed.

Show quote history

kids will be with me but also need to stay with father too

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:28

Cerialkiller · 14/08/2025 22:37

Do you have access to business accounts op? If he likely to try to avoid child maintenance or are you doing 50/50 care for younger two?

On the face of it, long marriage, 4 kids, 2 still dependant with a big income difference I don't think a 70/30 split would be unreasonable especially considering your assets are not enormous compared to income.

Did you have a career that you sacrificed to have children that you can evidence?

This would be a split of pension, equity, assets and don't forget that as you are married, his business forms part of martial assets too.

Is his business bricks and mortar? Staff, assets etc? Or just based on his skills? Is it something that he could close and reopen under a different name?

Yes I did sacrifice and only worked part time to look after older two. More equal share of child care now but not when I was in my 20s and 30s as he was away a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:30

Tiswa · 14/08/2025 22:39

What can get you both adequately housed that is as close to 50/50 as possibke

In South so housing very expensive. Might have to move to cheaper idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:30

Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:28

Yes I did sacrifice and only worked part time to look after older two. More equal share of child care now but not when I was in my 20s and 30s as he was away a lot.

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Business is skills based, no asset of staff.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 15/08/2025 03:12

Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 02:30

Business is skills based, no asset of staff.

Show quote history

But is still a marital asset isn’t it? And therefore actually part of the split

Meadowfinch · 15/08/2025 03:26

Looks like a straight 50:50 split to me, taking pension values into account..

You both need housing that will allow room for dcs. Dcs are senior school or older so no need for childcare. You can both work full time. You can each earn a respectable salary.

millymollymoomoo · 15/08/2025 08:08

You have two dependent children so need a 3 bed house. At their ages you will be expected to work full time and a settlement will be based on what you could earn not what you currently do.

all assets are in the pot- after a long marriage you’ll be looking to a near 50:50 overall but could mean you get 70% equity 35% pension ( or any other ratio)- my point is you might trade pension for equity should you chose.

at 48k you’ll be deemed earning enough for a clean break ( no spousal). Defending on what the child arrangements are and how often they stay with dad you will get cms.

you will both be deemed needing to house yourself and 2 minor children so housing needs are equal,

millymollymoomoo · 15/08/2025 08:09

You won’t be able to move far away with the children unless he agrees…..which he shouldn’t especially as you say it’s near equal childcare roles

Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 17:03

millymollymoomoo · 15/08/2025 08:09

You won’t be able to move far away with the children unless he agrees…..which he shouldn’t especially as you say it’s near equal childcare roles

Edited

I won’t take them far but less favourable area. We would be sharing 50/50.

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Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 17:08

Would they take into consideration my sacrifice for looking after kids for first 15 years. Always been part time to provide the child care needed. Didn’t get qualifications to progress until 28 because of this and as I have continued to be the one with parental leave and maternity leave etc I gave not been able to progress further. He never wanted me to work full time but be there for the kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexicotime · 15/08/2025 17:10

Even once qualified I was not able to move into more leadership roles as he has to travel for work and childcare falls to me in these incidences.

OP posts:
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