Should ex contribute towards DS x box?

BroomBroomStick · 2025-08-11T06:58:52+00:00

Husband has stayed in the family home and I have a new house. I left all furniture in the family home and have bought all my own or been gifted some. DS is a gamer and has an X Box, TV, headsets etc in his bedroom at home which will remain there. He needs a similar set up in my house, would I be unreasonable in asking ex for help towards electronics (x box) as everything is in the family home?

incognitomouse · 11/08/2025 08:04

Yes, you would be unreasonable. I moved out of the family home and bought new stuff for my DS - it wasn't up to my ex to provide that, you could have quite as easily taken it from the family home, rather than leaving it there.

Helpmeplease2025 · 11/08/2025 08:07

He needs a similar set up in my house

This isn’t a need.

DaisyChain505 · 11/08/2025 08:09

He doesn’t need two Xboxes. He wants.

StrawberryCranberry · 11/08/2025 08:10

Could it be a present for his next birthday? If so you could ask ex if he wants to contribute to it as a joint present.

SoScarletItWas · 11/08/2025 08:12

“Needs” 🙄

How often does he move between the two houses? Surely he just unplugs it and brings it with him?!

Givemeachaitealatte · 11/08/2025 08:14

Unfortunately yes you would - my DC have an Xbox at their dads (he bought it when he still lived in the family home), I haven't replicated here, although they do have other electronics here that they don't have at their dads. It's just the nature of the beast.

Coconutter24 · 11/08/2025 08:14

Your ex doesn’t have to contribute to that. Your DS doesn’t ‘need’ the set up, he would like the same set up. Your DS could ask his dad to help but I certainly don’t think you should

FlowersandElephants · 11/08/2025 08:14

He doesn’t need 2 consoles. Just take the one he has between houses.

JingsMahBucket · 11/08/2025 08:14

He doesn't need two set ups. @BroomBroomStick I don't know if you're feeling guilty about the divorce or something, but you do not have to cater to this request from your son. Keep this in mind for the next few years of navigating being apart. Wish you luck 💐

Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:16

DaisyChain505 · 11/08/2025 08:09

He doesn’t need two Xboxes. He wants.

Not a need, no, but not having a similar set up will make him reluctant to spend long stretches in my new home (when exh is in work) especially as our separation is very new and my home unfamiliar right now. Just trying to make it as comfortable as possible for him (ASD) and his set up in his new room needs to match as closely as possible his other set up.

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millymollymoomoo · 11/08/2025 08:16

Well I think

if you left everything behind and weren’t compensated for that in the settlement then yes he should contribute ( he won’t)

if you already were compensated no he shouldn’t

you can ask, he can say no

and I do think it’s important thst your son has things in both houses. It creates much less division and more stability and don’t have to try to cart things between the two. We made sure ours had double for both houses

Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:17

Just trying to make his new room feel safe and comfortable for him. He is very wary of everything right now.

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Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:20

millymollymoomoo · 11/08/2025 08:16

Well I think

if you left everything behind and weren’t compensated for that in the settlement then yes he should contribute ( he won’t)

if you already were compensated no he shouldn’t

you can ask, he can say no

and I do think it’s important thst your son has things in both houses. It creates much less division and more stability and don’t have to try to cart things between the two. We made sure ours had double for both houses

Yes that’s what we have been doing so far, so our youngest has two tablets and we’ve even purchased duplicates of his favourite toys to make life easier. I’m hoping my teen will eventually feel comfortable enough to lock himself in his new room on his x box/headset(be careful what I wish for ha ha)

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stichguru · 11/08/2025 08:20

He doesn't need a gaming set up at both houses. He could move one between two or do other things at one house. If (like my son) most of what he what's to do is game, either you decide you want to buy him a gaming set up for yours, in which case you buy him one, or he needs to save up for one if having one at both houses is important to him. Tip - CEX often have second hand gaming stuff for good prices.

Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:21

JingsMahBucket · 11/08/2025 08:14

He doesn't need two set ups. @BroomBroomStick I don't know if you're feeling guilty about the divorce or something, but you do not have to cater to this request from your son. Keep this in mind for the next few years of navigating being apart. Wish you luck 💐

He hasn’t asked for another x box, he would actually be worried about money bless him. It’s me that wants him to have the same set up

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Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:23

millymollymoomoo · 11/08/2025 08:16

Well I think

if you left everything behind and weren’t compensated for that in the settlement then yes he should contribute ( he won’t)

if you already were compensated no he shouldn’t

you can ask, he can say no

and I do think it’s important thst your son has things in both houses. It creates much less division and more stability and don’t have to try to cart things between the two. We made sure ours had double for both houses

It’s only been a few weeks so no settlements yet.

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autienotnaughty · 11/08/2025 08:29

Technically no as it’s each parents responsibility to fund their own house . Is there any maintenance being paid?
was the house owned, did u get a payout?
I get where you are coming from your ex has had an easy deal, stayed in the house and kept the furniture (I’m guessing you did this for the kids) where as you have had to start from scratch.
Can the Xbox travel between houses?
Could you look at a second hand/refurb for your house?

JingsMahBucket · 11/08/2025 08:31

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:21

He hasn’t asked for another x box, he would actually be worried about money bless him. It’s me that wants him to have the same set up

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@BroomBroomStick gotcha. Thanks for also mentioning he has ASD. I can see why you're worried about making him more comfortable. How old is your son?

Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:39

JingsMahBucket · 11/08/2025 08:31

@BroomBroomStick gotcha. Thanks for also mentioning he has ASD. I can see why you're worried about making him more comfortable. How old is your son?

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He’s 13 - ASD and ADHD. He’s quite black and white and wouldn’t like his current X Box to travel between houses. He would have to have a whole new one. Trying to help him as much as possible to feel at home here. He will split his time between both houses. Ex has the advantage in being the one to remain in the family home with all that is familiar to DS.

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incognitomouse · 11/08/2025 08:44

Well as it's specifically you that wants him to have the same set-up, rather than your DS, I'd say that you should provide it, not your ex.

It might feel unfair but such is the stinky reality of divorce I am afraid.

If ex wants something for DS at his house, would you be willing to contribute half to it?

It's up to you to provide for your DS in your house and vice versa.

StrawberryCranberry · 11/08/2025 09:22

If the set up is really expensive I guess you could ask for it to be included in the divorce settlement as a marital asset and you could get half that way?

Imacaroni · 11/08/2025 09:24

Aren’t you getting a fair financial settlement? Can’t you buy the Xbox out of that?

I do think you’d be unfair to ask, at the end of the day whether he likes it or not, the Xbox can move between houses. That’s what I did.

SnackAckerTack · 11/08/2025 09:30

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 08:20

Yes that’s what we have been doing so far, so our youngest has two tablets and we’ve even purchased duplicates of his favourite toys to make life easier. I’m hoping my teen will eventually feel comfortable enough to lock himself in his new room on his x box/headset(be careful what I wish for ha ha)

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so our youngest has two tablets

What??? Tablets are portable, thats kind of the point - why have you bought another one??

Original poster

BroomBroomStick · 11/08/2025 09:33

SnackAckerTack · 11/08/2025 09:30

so our youngest has two tablets

What??? Tablets are portable, thats kind of the point - why have you bought another one??

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Just so our youngest wouldn’t have to take it to school and risk it being stolen etc. Most drop offs/change overs will take place after school.

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millymollymoomoo · 11/08/2025 09:51

Honestly, it’s much better for the children to have duplicate, it doesn’t make them spoilt/ it makes it more likely to feel they have two homes rather than one they visit.

how many people on here would love to stay away from home without their own stuff multiple nights a week? Or live out of a suitcase half the time. I wouldn’t, put your heads in the minds of children we force to go down this route/ they didn’t ask for it or to be living in two places. It’s our job to make that as easy as us possible !

and carrying everything for gaming ( box, headset, controllers, cables etc is a right faff!

op currently has left everything with her ex. The least he can do is help their son feel at home and buy some bloody things!